Look, you can be as cynical as all hell, have been put through the wringer by shithouse fuckboys or flaky girls for years and then some bloody reality TV star or quasi-celebrity that’s been really open about their own shit love luck goes and scores themselves an adorable partner and it’s like you go from “fuck love what a crock haha I’m in love with my hot water bottle the end” to “FUCKIN YEEESSSS LOVE FOREVER RAINBOWS STAR SHINE WOOOOO”.
Don’t bloody deny it. People – especially folks who you decide really deserve it – finding their s.o. is fucking cute as shit and it warms the cockles. Is it warms the cockles? Is that the term? I Googled and it IS, how wild. What the fucking shit is a cockle, those old fogues from 1457 are weird, hey.
Get ready for those bloody cockles to get thoroughly warmed, my guys. Because Nikki Gogan – the most heartbroken human we’ve ever seen on reality TV in Australia – has found herself some LOVE, babey!
Nikki posted this literal minutes ago, making her entire following including me collectively scream. SCREAM WITH JOY. I AM SO IRRATIONALLY HAPPY FOR THIS WOMAN I HAVE NEVER MET IN MY LIFE.
Before you ask – no we don’t know who this lucky fella is. She hasn’t tagged him or said anything about him yet. And maybe she never will! I mean, she can have some privacy guys! (Nikki if you’re reading this can you at least tell just me? Just me. I won’t write about it. Promise maybe).
Also, let me say this. No one NEEDS a partner to be happy, OK? That’s dumb and stupid and shut up whoever says that. It’s not that we are all happy for Nikki because now she has a dude she can start her life. No, we are happy for Nikki because we literally SAW her get her heart brutally crushed by Richie Strahan on The Bachelor. We saw the real pain she went through. It’s like when your mate goes through a fucked break up and it takes them a million years to even be themselves again, and then they go get LAID for the first time and have a GOOD TIME and you’re like FUCK YEAH BITCH! You don’t need sex to be happy but you got some and it’s MADE you happy and I LIKE YOU BEING HAPPY!
Is that a good example? I don’t fucking know, haha! It’s 10pm! I’m writing this AND watching Easy A which sucked me in after Love Island, and I’ll personally murder whatever smart shit lined this great movie up after my show! It’s worked! Goodbye normal sleeping hours!
Anyway. YAY NIKKI I’m sure your life was 100/1o before you met this likely excellent dude, but it’s nice to see you find the love you wanted when you went on The Bachelor. You’ve warmed the moist (??? what the fuck is a cockle) cockles of my cold, dead heart. A bit.
