The Australian Survivor Premiere Was A Carnival Of Chaos & I Gobbled It Up Like A Feast Reward

australian survivor premiere heroes villains

Australian Survivor is back and it’s kicked things off on a pretty strong foot. There’s no doubt the Heroes V Villains game has some massive shoes to fill this year — the US version is arguably one of the best seasons of the entire franchise — but if the first ep is anything to go by, we might just be in for a cracking season.

The heroes and villains format holds a fair bit of expectation itself; will the baddies actually be bad? And does a hero mean you’re not likely to knife someone at the first opportunity?

From what we’ve seen so far, the villains were keen to live up to their label from the get-go and happily tried to sabotage their opponents with dirty tactics in the first challenge. And by “villains” I absolutely mean returning castaway Simon Mee who I saw stealing from the Heroes tribe and trying to pull Shaun Hampson off part of the challenge to get himself more time to catch up.

This isn’t even scratching the surface of the abject chaos that filled the first ep.

Where do we even begin? There’s Steve, who is clearly the only person in the whole world who continues to give a shit about Shonee fucking him over four seasons ago. There’s Hayley and Simon, who both have an enemy in George (and his truly horrifying idol tattoo). So not only are the villains against the heroes in this season but there’s also bad blood in their own camp. We’re working with some serious layers here, people.

Then we have Anjali, who some might remember from Season Five of Real Housewives Of Melbourne and all of her journalism work — which she was very fast to list out for all of her tribemates, whether they wanted to hear it or not.

And then there’s Rogue, who may be the most villainous hero on the whole show. She made quick work of telling everyone how great and more travelled and clearly much better than everyone else she was, even going so far as telling Nina (daughter of Survivor royalty Sandra) that she was “more African American” than her and Nina simply has to “understand that”.

When I tell you the air left my lungs because all the oxygen was SUCKED out of the air after she said that, my God. My LORD.

Is this woman really a hero or is she a mole planted in the Heroes tribe to try and stir shit? Whoever the hell she is, she may as well go and paint a giant target on herself after that beyond-cringeworthy interaction.

We could talk for hours about the outrageous bigotry that condescending and all-in-all fucked one-sided interaction holds but we must press on so let’s call it what it is (racism!) and let Mama Sandra go in.

At the immunity challenge, the first medic moment lands for the season — both George and Jackie yeet themselves awkwardly off part of the course and have to be taken away for extensive observation. It means they’re both out of the first tribal council (where the Villains ended up this ep) and may not return.

Tribal goes through the normal voting processes but just before Jonathan LaPaglia goes to read the names, he confirms that Jackie is out of the game with a fractured collarbone. The first medevac of the season and we’re on days one and two. You truly hate to see it.

Given the option to either accept the medevac as an elimination or continue with the tribal and vote someone out, the villains have the opportunity to really show their evil sides — and they take it.

By this point, I am absolutely hooting at my TV because it’s clear that Australian Survivor has gone up a couple of gears with its return to the beaches of Samoa.

We’re ONE episode in and the level of chaos is already going off like a frog in a sock. It’s a good sign of what’s to come, so let’s hope it doesn’t let us down.

Australian Survivor airs on Channel 10 at 7.30pm Monday to Wednesday and you can catch up on eps on 10Play.