Do you ever see something on Instagram so jarring that the only response is to stare at it? And so soaks into your soul a blend of confusion, amusement and anger, with a small sprinkle of dread? Yeah, me either.
But hypothetically, if I was to feel those things, it would have been while watching Melbourne café Matcha Mylkbar make a vegan burger smoothie.
How are we all feeling? Do you need to talk? Let’s break this one down, for those playing at home.
First step: grab the café’s $20 burger, a protein patty with rice paper bacon, avo, beetroot kraut, beetroot hummus and a matcha bun. Then add vegan matcha milk, and blend the fuck outta it. Top with sweet potato fries and dust with matcha sugar, because bloody hell.
Admittedly, the fact it’s vegan makes it a little less gross. Most of these things could be in a smoothie, though probably not together.
The skull glass! This stuff writes itself.
While on curiosity level alone, this would probably sell like crazy, the café has decided to not put it on the menu.
Because, surprise surprise, it’s disgusting. Maybe they should try again without the protein patty?
Considering they’ve gone viral off that blue agave latte last year, this one stinks of hopes to drum up some press before the Matcha Mylkbar opens a second café in Sydney later this year, around August. And we couldn’t help but fall right into the trap.
Source: Dailymail.com
Photo: Instagram.com/@matchamylkbar
