If you’ve had a proper birthday with friends and fun and family and all that jazz, it’s safe to say you’re very much in the minority this year. Everyone between mid-March and now have had their birthday plans completely ruined by the coronavirus shutdowns, and there’s likely more to come before the end of this year. And how best to express your rage at Miss Rona for absolutely fucking it up for you than by saying it atop your birthday cake.

Enter, these very cheeky cake toppers.

Sure, you could get something cute that says like “Happy 21st” or “Birthday Babe” but there’s no hiding the fact that COVID-19 has completely cocked-up your celebration plans, and displaying your thoughts with a fancy-but-fucking-real message on the centrepiece of your birthday is the best form of revenge.

Plus, you get to stab your cake with it as well, which I’m sure helps you get out some of your anger.

ruined my birthday cake topper
Ah, perfect.

Created by Perth-based creative Sandra Dillon Design, these cake toppers very likely capture the feelings of everyone who’s had to blow their candles out while on a Zoom chat with everyone they wanted to have down the pub instead.

As for the look, there are 17 different colours so you can match them to your chosen cake (that you’ll probably end up eating alone for a week), or a maple timber if you’re less into the acrylic vibe and want something a bit more ~naturele~.

And look, you can always just pass it on to your next mate who’s having a locked-down birthday – using a contactless drop-off or in the post, of course.

Ah, 2020, possibly the only year you can have your cake and eat it too, because literally nobody else is around to fight you for the biggest slice.

Image: The Simpsons / FOX