In some great news for sweet tooths and probably nobody’s guts whatsoever, it turns out the Subway bread is considered too sugary to actually be called bread. Well, at least that’s the case over in Ireland, whose Supreme Court has determined it’s no longer allowed to be legally classified as bread. Maybe’s it’s more of a cookie or a doughnut.

As per the ABC, the court ruling happened after one of the chain’s franchisees argued that some of its products were not liable to be considered for value-added tax because they’re staple foods.

Not only did that get knocked back by the high court, it absolutely backfired because the court then looked into the nitty-gritty nutritional information (which nobody bloody looks at in a fast food joint) and found the chain’s bread has way too much sugar in it to even be classed as bread. Which then means it doesn’t fall in the ‘staple foods’ category, and instead finds itself in the “fancy baked goods” pile and attracts a value-added tax.

Well, that’s certainly turned out well for them, hasn’t it?

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Apparently, the Supreme Court found that the bread in Irish Subway stores has a sugar content of 10% the weight of its flour, which is a massive step over the allowed 2% for staple food bread classification. That’s roughly 5g of sugar for a standard six-inch white bread sub. Good lord that’d be like eating straight brioche.

Before you go putting candles in your Subway sub this week (but don’t let me stop you otherwise) I checked out the nutritional info for Aussie subs, and our numbers are much lower. A white six-inch sub has 2.7g of sugar in it, which is half the amount found in Irish counterparts.

The worst offender in Aussie stores is the Italian Herbs & Cheese, which has 2.8g of sugars per six-inch sub. Meanwhile, the Ciabatta option is your least-sugary, with only 0.7g for each six-incher. I guess it just what’s inside the sub that counts, especially any sauce you decide to chuck on there.

So there you go – the humble Subway sub, they’re a piece of cake. Well, at least in Ireland.

Image: Friends / NBC