We Blind-Tasted Muddy Boys From Coles & Woolies To Finally Put That Argument To Bed

One of the biggest things we like to get all riled up about more than anything else is food. Parma vs parmi. Potato scallop vs. potato cake. Devon vs polony vs fritz. Coles mud cake vs Woolies mud cake. Which is better? Which is preferred? Well, while we’ve got a bunch of extra time up our sleeves, we thought it was about time to put that last one to bed once and for all.

I decided to put my guts on the line (let me not remind you about the fact I drank a Vodka Mudshake that time) to try and figure out which muddy boy is the best.

To keep things fair and unbiased, I went for a blind taste test where I popped the muddy boys on identical plates, got my housemate to mix them up and tried each with absolutely no idea which was which.

(Also I’m going to label the underside of each plate so I can find out later, I’m not an idiot — jeez.)

So I present to you, a definitive decision on which mud cake is verifiably better — Coles or Woolworths. Judged by me, a person with absolutely no authority to do so.


Good sheen on the icing, even white icing stripes.

Moist, spongy, chocolatey. All the things that you’d come to expect from a chocolate mud cake. This cake had the main bases covered.

Gentle on the mouthfeel with a really nice consistency, Cake One was gentle on flavour, but there was a definite bitterness. Not unlike a piece of nice dark chocolate.

That bitterness was balanced with the sweetness of the icing, which didn’t stand on its own but definitely complemented the density of the cake. Also, the cake’s flavour was very clean off the palate, which is a bit of a bonus because at points it definitely had notes of a packet mix cake.

Nice consistency in the sponge, not too dense, but not too light.

A pretty solid cake, a real no-fuss muddy boy.

After huffing a cup of coffee and swirling some around my mouth, my palate was cleansed and it was on to Cake Two.


Looking…exactly the same.

On the nose, this one smelt bitter. I was expecting a punchier cocoa flavour, but it seems like that flavour was all in the nose, because this was much less bitter on the palate.

Immediately noticed that Cake Two was denser, moister. Not sure if that works to its advantage, because as soon as I put it in my mouth it turned to a consistency of peanut butter. Like, it clumped together like a glob of Clag Glue and got stuck in my teeth and to the roof of my mouth.

Perhaps good if you want to save a bit behind your teeth for a sweet treat later (???) but not so great if you’re trying to eat it in one sitting.

Ah yes, looks…also exactly the same?

The fact it stuck in my mouth allowed the flavour to linger though, which may have been quite subtle, but definitely had less packet mix cake vibes and more like at least a bit of love had gone into it.

Now, the icing. This one stood apart a little more and had the consistency of almost like a gel and less of a soft paste mixture. Cake Two’s icing definitely tasted better, and actually tasted a little toffee-caramel, not just sugary. It was sweet, but the toffee notes gave it some complexity.

In my personal preference, I think Mud Cake One was better, but I do feel deeply unwell after scoffing down two weighty slices of cake at this point. The fact Cake One didn’t turn to chocolate concrete in my mouth and create a chaotic mouthfeel, the icing worked with the cake as one unit instead of separate entities and the slight bitterness meant it worked better for me.

The toffee/caramelly flavouring of Mud Cake Two was so good though, and if you’re the kinda person who likes to have the taste linger in your mouth a little more then Cake Two is your best bet.

So who is who? Let us do the big reveal.

I feel like I’m the Iron Chef judge right now. Or Matt Preston.


Yes I accidentally put one plate in the sink and then panicked and got it back out.

Cake One was…COLES. Holy shit, I didn’t expect that. A definite dark horse/underdog in the competition here, considering Woolies Muddy Boys are lauded as being the best in the biz.

Still, it wasn’t a simple decision, and I definitely took time to consider everything from both cakes. While for mouthfeel and consistency I prefer the Coles muddy boy, the Woolies muddy boy did really excel for lingering chocolatey taste and that delicious caramelly icing.

But my heart (and my now-cranky guts) have to say Coles.

I rest my case.