If you’ve ever wanted to drink a phenomenal amount of wine while attempting to make your own cheese outside of the comfort and dignity-preserving walls of your own home, then these special cheese-making workshops are 100% for you, my good binch.

Omnom Cheese Shop is holding regular cheese-making classes at its little home at the Tramsheds in Forest Lodge across September and October, where you can suck down bottomless glasses of wine while trying your hand at making bocconcini, burrata, and halloumi on nights where it’s kinda ok/socially acceptable and tolerable to get properly wankered – Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights.

Plus at the end of the night, you get to take home your (probably cursed) cheese-making creations, so be prepared to toddle off back home with a whole kilo of cheese. Fuck me, that’s a lot.

Sure, you can “drink wine” en mass and “take home an insane amount of cheese”. Whenever I do that I’m told I’m being a “public nuisance” and that I need to “leave Harris Farm immediately.”

A spot at the table with an apron and access to both the wine and the cheese (imperative) will set you back a very tidy $85 for the shorter, burrata-making class, and $120 for the longer, more intensive halloumi-making class – I can assure you that a public intoxication and cheese theft fine will be much more expensive.

Lock in a spot over on the Omnom Cheese-Making website, and wrangle your cheese-loving group chat quickly because the workshops are selling out like hotcakes. Hot cheese? Hot cheesecakes.

Image: Netflix