Here Are The Beaches To Avoid This Long W/E If You Don’t Like Sweaty Plebs

We’re diving head first into the long weekend, and we’re in luck: it’s gonna be a hot one.

Sydney and Melbourne are being advised to brace for a scorching couple of days, with temperatures in Victoria in the high 30’s on Sunday.

The only sensible thing to do, really, is go to the beach.

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Only problem with this line of thought, though, is that every other person in the country is thinking it.

Thankfully, the good folk at Uber have revealed the top five busiest beaches in our cities, based on which locations riders visited most in recent months.

Read the list, get acquainted with the spots to avoid, then plonk yourself down (SPF’d to your toes) and enjoy.

Sydney

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  1. Bondi Beach
  2. Coogee Beach
  3. Bronte Beach
  4. Manly Beach
  5. Balmoral Beach

Sydneysiders are spoiled for choice when it comes to sandy nooks. No prizes for guessing that Bondi topped this list.

Over Christmas time, Christmas Day was a big one for the eastern beaches and Bondi had a whopping three times the amount of people headed to the beach than Coogee, while Coogee had three times the amount of people headed to the beach than Bronte.

With that in mind, if you’re choosing Bondi, you better go early to secure your plot. From there, you’ll be able to witness to housing crisis-level of crowdedness that will descend.

Perth

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  1. Scarborough Beach
  2. City Beach
  3. Cottesloe Beach
  4. Trigg Beach
  5. Port Beach

West is best, as they say, and Scarborough comes out on top as the most popular WA beach.

Melbourne

  1. St Kilda Beach
  2. Brighton Beach
  3. Port Melbourne
  4. Williamstown Beach
  5. Elwood Beach

We can’t pretend Melbourne’s beaches could ever compete with any of the other states.

It’s just not our strong point. The fact that St Kilda beach tops this list is surely an indication of that.

The upside? All these suburbs have mint cafes… so once you’ve had enough schwimming, you can pop down to Combi in Elwood for one of their famous smoothies, or hit St Kilda’s Pontoon for some sweet potato fries. Priorities.

Adelaide

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  1. Glenelg Beach
  2. Henley Beach
  3. West Beach
  4. Christies Beach
  5. Aldinga Beach
  6. Maslin Beach

Adelaide’s list features a sixth inclusion, mainly because one half of Maslin is a nudist beach. It was the first of its kind Down Under to achieve legal status as a nude beach way back in 1975. Cheeky indeed.

Gold Coast

  1. Palm Beach
  2. Main Beach
  3. Mermaid Beach
  4. “Nobby’s”
  5. Kirra Beach

Most surprisingly is the Gold Coast’s renowned Surfers Paradise Beach didn’t make the top five, with Uber riders favouring Palm Beach with its nearby scenic walks and Main Beach at the northern end of the coast. Nobby’s Beach Surf Club calls itself “the best kept secret on the coast”, but Uber riders are clued in to the coast’s hottest spots.

If we could offer you all only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

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