Selena Gomez has opened up about her mental health in a heart-breaking new interview delving into her experience of bipolar disorder.
The 30-year-old Rare Beauty founder sat down with Rolling Stone ahead of the release of her documentary My Mind & Me, which explores her complicated mental health journey in figuring out her bipolar diagnosis.
Gomez struggled with intense fluctuations in mood where she was left shifting between dark spells and manic highs. At the same time, she was coping with a devastating lupus diagnosis (a condition triggered by stress which required a kidney transplant) and also figuring out her next steps post-Disney, which left her with panic attacks, anxiety and depression.
“I’m going to be very open with everybody about this: I’ve been to four treatment centers,” Gomez said in the candid interview.
“I think when I started hitting my early twenties is when it started to get really dark, when I started to feel like I was not in control of what I was feeling, whether that was really great or really bad.”
There were days were Gomez wouldn’t sleep at all. During her manic episodes she would be seized by a sense of intense generosity where she felt she should buy everyone she knew a car because she had “a gift and wanted to share it”. That’s a symptom, but it becomes complicated when you’re a celebrity who can actually afford to give that money away.
Then the depression would hit.
“It would start with depression, then it would go into isolation. Then it just was me not being able to move from my bed. I didn’t want anyone to talk to me,” she confided.
“I thought the world would be better if I wasn’t there.”
She didn’t ever attempt suicide, but she said she contemplated it for years.
Gomez struggled to cope with the weight of her mental illnesses, especially because she had to change her medication and survive a detox after her bi-polar diagnos, which made her feel like she was “gone”.
In a clip posted to TikTok by Vanity Fair, Gomez said she didn’t know how she’d cope with her diagnosis.
“What if it happened again?” she asked herself.
“What if the next time, I didn’t come back?
“I needed to keep learning about it. I needed to take it day by day.”
@vanityfair In her confessional documentary, ‘My Mind & Me,’ #SelenaGomez gives viewers an unflinching look at her mental health journey.
Since then, Selena Gomez has come a long way. She’s prioritising her mental health, and she’s finally in a good place. At least, one where she can advocate for others and share her journey.
“I know it has a big message, but am I the right person to bring it to light?” Gomez said about her documentary.
“I don’t know. I wanted someone to say, ‘Selena, this is too intense.’ But everyone was like, ‘I’m really moved.’”
My Mind & Me premieres on 4 November (that’s today) globally on Apple TV+.
If you need mental health support, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or chat online.
Under 25? You can reach Kids Helpline at 1800 55 1800 or chat online.
If you require immediate assistance, please call 000.
