In the wake of over 27,000 people signing a petition for proper consent education in Australian schools, NSW private school principals are briefing parents on sexual assault in the least helpful way possible.
The headmaster of the private King’s School in Sydney, Tony George, sent a letter to parents, seemingly blaming the occurrence of sexual assault on porn consumption and underage drinking, instead of accepting responsibility for educating young men about how to treat women with respect.
In the letter, quoted by the Sydney Morning Herald, George complained about underage drinking at parties, which can go on with the “support” of parents.
“[D]o we really think an intoxicated teenage boy is going to have the presence of mind to recall his sex education curriculum and restrain himself at a boozed-up party when given the opportunity to pursue his porn-filled imagination and desire?” he wrote.
“If footballers and parliamentary staffers can’t do it, I think not. Our children need our support and supervision.
“I expect there will come a day when we will be held to account for conduct that has contributed to the harm of children due to alcohol, porn and parties. Perhaps that day has come.”
The headmaster of another Sydney all-boys private school, Trinity Grammar, Tim Bowden, wrote a letter to parents, quoted by News.com.au, that similarly squared the blame on underage drinking at parties and the parents that facilitate those parties.
“I can think of fewer more dangerous, unhelpful and foolish things that a parent could do than to provide a party of [this] sort,” Bowden wrote. “These parties cause heartbreaking and life-breaking damage.
“In hosting a party of this sort, parents end up creating an environment that enables sexual assault. This is not a statement I make lightly, and I recognise that the statement will cause offence, but I believe the conclusion is inescapable.”
This rhetoric is so damaging I could scream. It propagates the idea that men have to “restrain” themselves under the influence of alcohol, as if drinking alcohol means you lose your conscience. And it suggests that removing an environment in which sexual assault can occur will magically fix the problem.
It should go without saying that the issue at the core of sexual assault isn’t the existence of parties, the consumption of alcohol or porn, or even whether or not someone remembers their high school consent education.
It’s not about teenage boys recalling lessons learnt and applying them. It’s about young men treating their female peers with respect and empathy.
While intoxication can be a factor in sexual assault, the underlying issue is about men’s attitudes towards women and their bodily autonomy.
That’s why you can see it not just in high school cohorts but in every area of public and private life, including in elite sporting codes and the highest levels of government. But just because it’s pervasive doesn’t mean it’s inevitable.
Late in February, former Kambala student Chantel Contos started a petition for education on consent to be included earlier in the school curriculum.
She has since accumulated the anonymous testimony of over young 4000 young women about their experience of sexual assault while at high school. It’s a horrifying figure and barely breaches the surface.
You can sign Chantel Contos’ petition or share your own testimony here.
Help is available.
If you require immediate assistance, please call 000.
If you’d like to speak to someone about sexual violence, please call the 1800 Respect hotline on 1800 737 732 or chat online.
Under 25? You can reach Kids Helpline at 1800 55 1800 or chat online.
