Scotty From Marketing Spent Yesterday Faffing About With Cricketers

Not that it should shock any of you at this stage, but while the rest of the country came to terms with the sheer scale of the devastation and horror of fire activity that occurred across vast tracts of the nation on New Year’s Eve, Prime Minister Scott Morrison spent the day swanning about his own house entertaining cricketers at an exclusive function.

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Morrison cheerily posed for photos and glad-handed with the Australian and New Zealand cricket teams at Kirribilli House yesterday, after reportedly hosting a closed door New Year’s Eve function at the official residence the night before.

Beyond that, Morrison – who already copped a hit over holding the cricket up as some sort of wartime beacon of hope for the nation – sternly declared that the final Test Match of the summer (due to start in Sydney tomorrow) would “inspire” the people of Australia despite everything, even while yet-again pushing aside the root cause of the fires’ ferocity.

Speaking to media at the event, run in benefit for the Jane McGrath Foundation, Morrison stated that it is “a time of great challenge for Australia.” The subsequent sounds he made with his supposedly human mouth are probably best relayed unedited, in full:

“Whether they’re started by lightning storms, or whatever the cause may be, our firefighters and all of those who have come behind them to support them, whether they’re volunteering in the front line or behind the scenes in a great volunteer effort, it is something that will happen against the backdrop of this Test Match.”

“But at the same time, Australians will be gathering, whether it’s at the SCG or around television sets all around the country, and they’ll be inspired by the great feats of our cricketers from both sides of the Tasman and I think they’ll be encouraged by the spirit shown by Australians and the way that people have gone about remembering the terrible things that other Australians are dealing with at the moment.”

Bit hard to gather around a television set when your entire house has been incinerated. But hey, at least we’ve got the dizzying feats achieved by [checks notes] Marnus Labuschange to pull us through these troubling times.

Lord knows it’s shitloads more than what the Prime Minister himself is doing right now.

Imagine if he has the nerve to try and show his face at the cricket this week.

Imagine.

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