Before we begin here, there needs to be some context: Tom Brady likes to kiss. A lot.
[jwplayer n8HLEVlc]
Following Brady’s entirely ho-hum win in today’s Super Bowl, the 41-year-old cyborg celebrated by greeting New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft with a well-planted kiss, right on the mouth.
https://twitter.com/MoistCr1TiKaL/status/1092259057430421506
No doubt about there, mates. That’s a full-on lip kiss, square on the mush of the old man who signs his sizeable pay cheques, at least one of which he should give to me.
That is the latest in a long, long line of weird things Tom Brady does with his mouth, which traces back to this clip wherein a shirtless and prone Tom lip-kisses his son for a duration of no less than two full seconds.
This is not an isolated pair of incidents either. Tom Brady will literally mouth kiss anyone. The closer to him the better.
I wish someone would kiss me the way Tom Brady kisses his kid and dad. pic.twitter.com/NQeDwIjFLW
— Dumpster Jesus (@DumpsterJesus) January 30, 2019
He just loves to kiss. He cannot be prevented from kissing.
Naturally then, as soon as the Robert Kraft kiss hit screens across the globe, the kiss-related gags began pouring in thick and fast on ye olde social media. And lord, there were some absolute crackers in there.
https://twitter.com/DuckFanAccount/status/1092272028394999808
Tom bradys son when he sees Julian Edelman get a kiss before him. pic.twitter.com/OhHf4HII21
— Keg (@GratefulKeg) February 4, 2019
Tom Brady after the #SuperBowl2019 for his victory kiss pic.twitter.com/SA0ovMtcNm
— Andrew (@oreodunker123) February 4, 2019
https://twitter.com/ashton_persaud/status/1092257531567710209
https://twitter.com/MoistCr1TiKaL/status/1092260153309712386
https://twitter.com/BigJigglyPanda/status/1092259061876355073
https://twitter.com/B_2_The_K_/status/1092257564245585920
Tom Brady was separated from his family all week preparing for the Super Bowl. Sources close to ESPN say his 17 year old child has entered the locker room at halftime to reinvigorate the Hall of Game QB with a passionate French Kiss.
— DC (@draftcheat) February 4, 2019
https://twitter.com/zeroasalimit/status/1092217884850368513
https://twitter.com/zeroasalimit/status/1092260506247655425
https://twitter.com/DarthLux/status/1092259668024426496
Tom Brady running wild through the crowd, kissing everyone’s sons
— illy bocean (@IllyBocean) February 4, 2019
We simply cannot stress this enough, mates: Tom Brady absolutely loves to kiss. He is a fiend for it. It is his favourite thing.
