Unashamedly Recreate Harry Potter’s Train Trip On The Hogwarts Express
You know what’s great about being somewhere where nobody knows who you are? Getting real daggy and doing things that are so unashamedly naff. If these aren’t on your bucket list – they sure as shit should be.
Find yourself in Scotland, grab a whole bunch of weird lollies and sweets and jump onboard the Jacobite Steam Train – yep, the actual Hogwarts Express. Hang out of the carriage while the iconic steam train rolls across that iconic bridge.
Don’t worry if you forgot the every-flavour beans, because the food carriage will keep your bellies satisfied (just keep a good hold of those squirmy Chocolate Frogs.)
Get In The Nud In A Traditional Turkish Bath
You know you’re really good mates with someone when you’ve done the platonic nude up together.
In Europe, heading along to a day spa means you’ve gotta get your kit off and truly be one with absolute relaxation.
One of the best experiences for a serious scrub and massage is at a Turkish Hamam – there’s a solid 60 left from over 200 in Turkey.
Everyone is pretty much only covered by a small bath towel, and spend a good sesh sweating out toxins in the huge marble hamams, before getting dead skin exfoliated away with a solid massage.
They’re all bloody stunning, too. The Çemberlitas Hamami is one of the best-lookin’ ones; it’s a little on the pricy side ($45 for a traditional scrub & bubble) but it’s worth every Turkish Lira.
Important to remember that hammams are strict on gender, and either have separate bathing rooms for men and women, or have specific times for patrons.
Shit Ya Pants On A Ghost Tour
European countries have a much longer, and deeper history than Australia. It’s almost inconceivable in our brains that a place can have hundreds of years of known history – well at least it is to me.
You know what else that means? Hella old ghosts.
Edinburgh has its City of the Dead tours which are perfect to scare the pants off you and your bestie; because we all know that ghost tours are 100x more fun when you’ve got someone to laugh at your sheer terror with.
The tour explores the underground city in Edinburgh because EVERYTHING evil happens below the surface.
If you’re not as into crapping ya dacks over ghost tours, then make sure you make time to visit the many crypts and catacombs across Europe. For those that prefer more of a foreboding presence of dread over probable literal demons.
There’s the Capuchin crypts in Rome and Czech Republic, and of course the Catacombs of Paris. So fkn metal.
Get A Proper Sex Education At Amsterdam’s Sex Museum
There’s absolutely no doubt you’ve seen someone on Facebook or Insta in a photo with a giant phallus at the Sex Museum in Amsterdam.
This place is full of naughty paraphernalia, images, and artefacts surrounding the fine art of havin’ a root. Each small room plays not-so-subtle muffled noises of folks bumping uglies, and can be a bit of a cheeky giggle for you and your best mate (don’t take your parents, for the love of God)
A city that doesn’t hide anything under the sheets, there’s also an Erotic Museum in Amsterdam – if you want to continue the Sex Ed lesson.
Get Turnt Upside-Down At Czech Republic’s Boulder Bar
I never thought that rock climbing and beers would be able to co-exist, but at the Boulder Bar in Czech Republic, you can scale the walls and then put your feet up with a well-earned drink afterwards.
The Boulder Bar doesn’t use ropes for their boulder climbing, instead climbers just fall freely onto a large crashmat below each wall.
A lot of the guys here clamber up the walls shirtless so uh, there’s also some good sights to take in while you’re sipping on a vodka. You’re bloody welcome.
Visit Some Fallen Greats At Perè Lachaise & Highgarden
There’s plenty of huge cemeteries around Europe, and more often than not you’ll be able to come across someone reasonably noteworthy.
The biggest one is Perè Lachaise Cemetery in Paris, which is where literary and music greats like Oscar Wilde, Edith Piaf, Frédéric Chopin, and Jim Morrison were laid to rest.
Oscar Wilde’s tomb is now protected by glass because everyone would kiss the stone with lipstick on, and it was a hell of a job to remove it all.
In London, pay your respects to Malcolm McLaren, Patrick Caufield, Douglas Adams, and Karl Marx at Highgate Cemetery. The site hosts some incredibly impressive headstones and tombs, where people are memorialised by legit works of art.
George Michael is also buried here, but in a private section of the still-active cemetery, and cannot be visited by the public.
Wear A Cape At Dracula’s Romanian Castle
Ok so even though Count Dracula is absolutely a fictional character, the castle that Bram Stoker based the Transylvanian blood sucker’s abode on is very much real.
Bran Castle is in Romania, and you can wander around it (maybe muttering “I vahnt to suhck yoor vlood” to your mate under your breath.
The local folklore is that there’s a presence of evil spirits or ‘steregoi’ who haunt and terrorise the neighbouring villages. So, it’s absolutely haunted AF.
Be One With Nature At Amsterdam’s ARTIS Royal Zoo
If you want to get up close with a bunch of beautifully-intricate and delicate butterflies, then it’s in your best interest to get yourself to ARTIS –Amsterdam‘s Royal Zoo.
The zoo also has a massive amount of animals, from sloths to meerkats to monkeys and giraffes, so there’s a bunch of 10/10 opportunities for the perfect insta shot.
Seriously though, the butterflies.