The Environment Protection Authority has just released their 2015-16 Beach Report, ranking our fair Melbourne‘s duttiest to best beaches, according to their cleanliness.

Hampton, Seaford, Portsea, Canadian Bay, Sandringham, Elwood, Rosebud, Santa Casa & Black Rock all took home first place, which is wholly unsurprising. 

A photo posted by Asia Nobis (@siboneek) on

In equal tenth place was Half Moon Bay, Portarlington, Carrum and South Melbourne.

A photo posted by Ed Abrahams (@aussiemonkey) on

The stragglers, you ask? Taking out places 32 to 36 were St Leonards, Rye, Frankston, St Kilda & Mentone beach.

St Kilda has long been plagued with myths of a syringe-ladder waterfront, but the beach’s less-than-admirable placing on the list is because of its proximity to the stormwater drains.

Mentone was the only beach that failed to meet safety standards this summer, with higher than acceptable bacteria levels.

salty af 

We pray for our brave AFL footballers who’re sure to be getting waist-deep in the waters for recovery purposes over the next few months. Peace be thy journey.

Source: Yarra and Bay.

Photo: Robert Prezioso / Getty.