The 4 Astrology Apps I Swear By To Get Me Through Every Bullshit Day Of My Bullshit Life

Most people’s morning routine involves showering, brushing their teeth, catching up on the latest news and downing a sizeable amount of caffeine and while my morning routine most certainly involves these things, there’s one more equally vital task that I never start my day without: seeing what the stars have in store for me.

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But unlike the aforementioned tasks, it’s not something that I need to remember to do ‘coz my phone (as if by magic) alerts me to the spiritual happenings of that day.

All four of the below apps have an alert function that you can set-up so that you receive a push-notification to remind you to check out your daily spiritual forecast.

As I’m sure I’m not the only pseudo-witch who relies on astrology to tell them WTF is happening in life, I thought I’d share my go-to horoscope apps with you to add a bit of magic to your morning routine.


You will have heard about Co-Star ‘coz of the whacky nature of their alerts but while some people have been destined to receive batshit advice like ‘Study the history of debt’ and ‘Fantasies about becoming a lawyer are currently normal’, others such as myself have found their words of wisdom to be insanely prescient.

There have been days where the message I’ve received, no matter how bizarre the wording, has offered the perfect boost of encouragement for whatever was to go down on that day.

A coupla months ago, one of my mates started to turn shit (I don’t want to get into the gory details but let’s just say that I was questioning whether or not we were compatible as pals anymore since all I was getting from them was negative energy).

The next morning, Co-Star hit me up with this note:

This opportune message was all the validation I needed to know that it’s not me, it’s them, and that I shouldn’t be putting up with toxic tendencies in the name of being ~polite~. Cutting said person out of my life was like having a mole removed, painful at first but overtime, life was much more beautiful.

Another morning, I was feeling outrageously hungover and had a huge day ahead of me.

As I sat at my desk feeling sorry for myself, Co-Star reminded me of the facts:

While most people think the app is absolute malarkey, I’ve often found my spirits lifted by the Co-Star alerts and truth be told, I rely on their wisdom to give me a sense of security.

You can also sync up your account with your friends to see how compatible you guys are according to astrology. It’s beautiful stuff.


Channing Tatum isn’t the only one who’s been absolutely bamboozled by this astro app. I have also found it to be wildly poignant and insightful.

The Pattern provides timely advice on what’s going down in your life and how to fix shit if things aren’t going well.

When I was lacking enthusiasm at work and feeling a tad stale, The Pattern sent me this lovely little nudge that kicked off a period of dynamic thinking and inspired writing:

The Pattern also chucks you important planetary alerts and tells you how to harness whatever phase we’re in to benefit your life:

There’s also a section in the app with real-life categories that gives you a tailored insight into whatever the problem may be.

These include topics like relationships, work, fears and anxieties.

Like Co-Star, you can also add your mates to this one as sort of a Facebook for covens.


While I enjoy the succinctness and subtlety of the above two apps, DailyHoroscope is a brilliant one to have on-hand if you know you’re in for a big one and need some advice.

DailyHoroscope is a comprehensive astrology app that breaks down your horoscopes into daily, weekly, monthly and yearly, depending on how far in the future you wish to delve.

It’s like having the Sunday newspaper horoscopes but for any damn day ya want and at the touch of your fingertips.

There’s also a tab called Zodiac Compatibility where you can suss out whether you and your date have a future or not.

I’m in a relationship now but back in the day when I was on a date, I’d somehow bring up the zodiac convo to find out what their star sign was then pop to the loo and punch our signs into the app to see if we were a good match.

If it was a low compatibility, I’d slip out the back door without them noticing and block their number.

Jokes, I’m not that insane (or am I?). But it’s certainly helpful to get spiritual insight into how a person ticks and what a potential relationship would look like.


As you will have gleaned from the way I talk about astrology like it’s gospel, I am (crystal) balls deep in this kind of stuff.

Therefore I always make sure that I’m attuned to the phases of the moon so that I can channel its energy to manifest whatever it is I need.

It can be super easy to miss a new or full moon so chuck Moon Plus a download as it alerts you to the upcoming phases.

You don’t need to wait for the alert either as there’s a moon calendar to inform you of the up and coming moon phases so you can plan your coven gatherings accordingly.

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