Earlier this week, I wrote this yarn about my favourite astrology source – the Co-Star app. I love their modern way of telling me my life will go to shit this week. However, I’d noticed – and so had people around me who had the app – that the push notifications delivering me spicy little daily advice? They were getting fucking WEIRD AS SHIT.

Since then, many of you have shared your own strange daily messages, which I’ve included below – but I swear to god it’s like they read my article and decided to hike it up a notch, because the strangest shit has been coming through since Monday. Like this one, that my sister got:

What?? As Kate said, “are they slut-shaming me?”.

Or my friend Jenna‘s, which told her to read an entire self-help book in a day. Just any book.

Then there’s all the amazing ones you guys posted in the comments on our OG story.

Okay but maybe not the best advice to tell me to STALK MY EXES BECAUSE THE INFO COULD COME IN HANDY.

My colleague Matt had three doozies in a row.

Don’t use big words???

That’s a bit rude, Co-Star.