It’s hard to not look like a dropped kebab when disembarking a long-haul flight.
I get it, the shit’s long and tiresome, and if you ever hear another baby scream you may just spontaneously combust. How can anyone look a treat with such a mix of emotions flowing through their aching bodies?
Well, people do.
Glam squad in tow or not, you can look the goods too, oh fellow pleb. It’s all about wearing the shiz that’s legit comfortable but still on-point, which a hundo percent exist. In fact, the comfy stuff’s probably more stylish than the tighty whities, so this should really be easy.
WHAT: Chic shades
WHY: Because if you can’t be assed to clean up your noggin, it’s a damn good coverup. You’ll also look famous (which is fun, I guess) and be able to sleep in peace + cry in secret during those gut-wrenching romance films.
WHAT: A tote that won’t get you in a tizzy
WHY: Do you know how hard it is to Tetris your laptop into a handbag or backpack? Very. Totes on the other hand – it’s like they were made for sliding the pieces of tech right on in. They’re also a breeze for when you’re going through customs. No zipping or unzipping required.
WHAT: Easy-to-remove slides
WHY: Because one should always say yes to upping their thong game. You’ll need something that comes on and off easily for dunny visits.
WHAT: A jacket w/ plenty of pockets
WHY: It doesn’t matter where you’re going, the plane’s AC will mess you up. You also want easily accessible pockets for all the important things like your passport, ticket, chapstick etc.
WHAT: A basic but not-boring tee
WHY: Because a) topless ain’t an option b) comfort, duh, & c) why overcomplicate it? Also, there’s nothing like a big logo saying “holiday” across your shirt to tell everyone what’s up.
WHAT: Comfy af pants
WHY: Because leggings aren’t pants and we all know what happened to those chicks on United. No, but seriously, you’re sitting ’round for hours on end and for that reason I will allow elasticised waistbands.
WHAT: Anxiety-free sneakers
WHY: Because they’re chill and comfy and look, no one actually wears shoes on the plane anyway – these are for embarking and disembarking. I vote velcro (because let’s bring ’em back) but also cos no one wants to bend over and make bunny ears for five minutes. They’re a great alternative to slides if, like me, you have rank heels full of blisters.
WHAT: A minimalist watch
WHY: Because important people wear watches. That is all.
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