I’m new to ‘Married At First Sight‘ and, although I’m not usually into reality TV, I have to admit that I’m becoming a bit of a fan.
Is it because I think it will work out and all these people will be happy for the rest of their lives? Of course not. It’s for two very different and equally important reasons:
- Unlike every other reality TV show, they’re honestly trying to find compatible people, instead of deliberately trying to create interpersonal conflict. The result is that the people are genuinely likeable, ordinary folks that you could stand to talk to for more than 5 minutes.
- They’re not only allowed to bone, but they’re allowed to talk about having boned! All the other shows, even the ones based around romantic interest, pretend the world is ending when two people even so much as make out – like, come on guys, they’re not 16 (that would be illegal).
The stars of tonight’s show were the prospective gay couple, Andy and Craig, who are not only exceptions on the show due to their sexuality, but also appear to be the only men on the program who are capable of dressing themselves without assistance from an adult.
Because these fuckers know exactly what we want (Channel 9, not Andy and Craig), they edged us: building their wedding right up and stopping the very second before the ceremony began, telling us we’d have to wait until next episode to see what happens. Luckily the build up was pretty interesting in itself.
Firstly, meet Andy, he’s handsome and charming and British and lovely, and if Craig doesn’t marry him, I will:
Next, meet Craig. Craig is also all of the above things but, unlike Andy, seems like he might just be a little bit highly strung.
Understandably, if you’re feeling like you’re fucking up your wedding day, it doesn’t make it any better to have a producer yelling at you and someone refusing to stop filming you – but also, at the same time, watch how shit goes down when Craig realises he can’t find his vows:
But it’s OK, because it turns out it was they were in his pocket the whole time, so everything’s fine, what a comical mishap! We’ll laugh at this later after everything has gone perfectly without a single hitch.
Just oooone sec though…
What’s that one thing you need – the thing that lets you marry the person? You know, the little thing you take then you give it to the person, kinda ring-shaped? Oh fuck, that’s right, the ring. Where is the ring:
After some saintly patron inside graciously lends them a ring, it looks like we’re all set for a beautiful, lovely, wonderful wedding that we now all of a sudden have to wait another 24 hours for because I guess God hates me and doesn’t want me to have good things.
Additionally, a bunch of adorable stuff happened with the hetero couples, mostly for Bella and Michael, who apparently couldn’t stop making out. Less so for Dave and Jess, whose chemistry fell way short of the others shown so far. Awks.
Interesting to note they’re doing the wedding in New Zealand, because (even though the ceremonies aren’t legally binding) they want to truthfully recreate how fucked and backwards our Government is.
Photo: Channel 9.
