Home of the alleged Rosswell Incident and site for conspiracy theorists to wildly circle jerk conspire, Area 51, has been served with a hard-hitting dose of non-Alien reality as the US National Security Archive have released documents confirming Area 51’s existence (Alien believers: 1, US Government: 0) but revealing that it was used only as a military testing site for a plane that gathered US intelligence (US Government: 1, Alien Believers: Still 1; refuse to comprehend world without aliens). The documents reveal that the area was used a testing ground for the Lockheed U-2 spy plane for the Cold War. Well, now that’s how you write an anticlimax.
With the US Government continually holding Area 51 as a “Top Secret” Base, the huge military field in Nevada provided a perfect catalyst for batshit crazies conspiracy theorists to pour their convoluted conjectures in to, likely because its Top Secret status meant that no theory could be categorically confirmed or denied. And when the government explicitly doesn’t deny the cray cray imaginings of a wayward group of theorists, it must be true, right? Sure! Theories on Area 51 have included suspicions of time travel and teleportation development, UFO testing, the Rosswell Incident, weather control developments and the Aurora Program. Welcome to Area 51: all theories welcome, nay, encouraged.
The release of documents in the US now pretty much debunk all of those theories for good, except for the cloyingly evident, inevitable conspiracy theorist’s denial: following every documented confession from the CIA with a raised eyebrow and an “Or was it?“, it’s pretty obvious that they’ll take to the announcement with the exact opposite intent. Undoubtedly, the released documents will be seen as an elaborate smokescreen, supposedly designed to lull us in to a false sense of non-extraterrestrial security, because that’s what they want us to think, so ready your tin foil hat, et cetera. Sigh.
Still not convinced? Allow Louis Theroux‘s soothing incredulity and blatant sarcasm serve up some Real Talk:
Via TIME.
