Walter White was onto something when he threatened to send Saul to Belize. By killing him. Because Belize is lit•er•al•ly Heaven.
That is, according to TripAdvisor’s Best Islands In The World list, unveiled recently with an appropriately chill amount of fanfare. Without further adieu, here, apparently, are the Best Islands In The World: Ranked.
1. AMBERGIS CAYE, BELIZE CAYES
Defending champion Ambergis Caye is Belize’s largest island posed on the edge of the Western Hemisphere’s largest barrier reef, the centrepiece of which is undoubtedly The Blue Hole – a submarine sinkhole Jacques Cousteau listed among his top ten diving sites in the world. So you know it’s legit.
According to the opportunistic Belize Tourism Board, Ambergis Caye also boasts excellent nightlife, majestic whale sharks and, conversely, the opportunity to take naps on the beach or make small talk with the locals. As if you needed any more convincing.
Photo via Belize Tourism Board
2. PROVIDENCIALES, TURKS AND CAICOS
The most developed of the Turks and Caicos British colonial outposts – where ‘developed‘ is a euphemism for ‘luxe’ – Providenciales (or Provo) boasts miles of coastline frequently listed amongst the best in the world for its evidently ridiculous beauty, ***Flawless vibes and rich aquatic life.
Activities on offer include anything and everything you could ever imagine wanting to do in paradise or absolutely nothing at all. Bliss.
Photo via Visit Turks & Caicos
3. BORA BORA, SOCIETY ISLANDS
Frankly it’s not surprising that Bora Bora’s Tahitian name ‘Pora Pora’ translates directly as ‘First Born’, because you will literally be powerless to resist the fecund charms of French Polynesia and will conceive your first child upon arrival. Schtupping guaranteed.
Photo via Tahiti Tourisme
4. MARCO ISLAND, FLORIDA
If Florida is America’s wang, Marco Island is its largest stray pube, I guess. It’s also its most finely manicured stray and the most “magical, mystical and alluring” of Florida’s Ten Thousand Islands, according to the Marco Island Tourism Board.
It looks a little more on the beaten golf cart track than the top three options, which is perfect for those who’d rate the availability of daiquiris a higher priority than the absence of mouth breathing retirees.
Photo via Marco Island Paradise Coast
5. LEWIS AND HARRIS, OUTER HEBRIDES
Islands and sun-kissed summer holidays are not mutually inclusive sexy parties. Take the Isles of Lewis and Harris, two in the Hebrides archipelago that are no less alluring for their being cast at the Western end of Europe.
Lewis in the north boasts the iconic Callanish Standing Stones rock formation; while Harris in the south can lay claim to both “the oldest known rocks in the world”, volcanic islands and medieval ruins. For those who like their holidays a little more Westerosi than roasty.
Photo via Visit Scotland
6. NAXOS, CYCLADES
Noted alumnus include Zeus, the Supreme God. Your argument is invalid.
Photo via Visit Naxos
7. AITUTAKI, SOUTHERN COOK ISLANDS
Bird watchers haven and the designated Honeymoon Island of the Manuae atoll, Aitutaki’s hard to reach location in the middle of the Pacific deters the kind of crowds that you’d otherwise find in more accessible locales, like Florida. Therein lies 100% of its appeal.
That, and the absurd clarity of the water, the palm-fringed white sands and its relative proximity to Australia. Observe:
Photo via Cook Islands Tourism
8. NOSY BE, ANTSIRANANA PROVINCE
Per Travel Madagascar’s website: Despite “Nosy Be’s clear inclination towards mass tourism, it is yet a largely sleepy place with sugar cane plantations, rum distilleries, ylang ylang bushes, lounging lemurs, and little air of expectation.” You had me at ‘Lounging Lemurs’.
Nosy Be is located off the Madagascan northwestern coast; its name translates directly as ‘Big Island’ and apparently “the new disco at the Hotel la Mer proposes party time on Thursdays and Saturdays.”
Late last year, however, tourists were warned to steer clear of Nosy Be after three European tourists were beaten and burned alive when they were accused of murdering a local boy. The Australian Government is advising a high degree of caution be employed when visiting Madagascar.
Photo via Travel Madagascar
9. EASTER ISLAND, CHILE
Easter Island should require no introduction, namely for its being a World Heritage Listed site accommodating hundreds of iconic, ancient and unique Polynesian volcanic rock Moai statues, which stand guard around the Rapa Nui National Park (more on those here).
Its distance from the coast of Chile (over 3,687km) accounts for its reputation as both one of the most isolated and eerie places on the planet. As always, the scuba diving and beaches are reportedly some of the best in the world and as per usual, visit in the off season to capitalise on a drop off in crowds.
Photo via Easter Island Tourism
10. KO TAO, SURAT THANI PROVINCE
According to my colleague Paul, pictured below, if you’re down with chilling out on a beach during the day, snorkelling, eating Thai food and just living the dream in general, Koh Tao has got you covered. And if you’re keen to bust-a-move, just wait until the sun goes down and enjoy the party.
And it looks like this:
Photo: Tom Pennington via Getty
