You Can Airbnb Your Own Island For $538 If You’re Mad Keen To Snorkel Naked

What do Richard Branson, XXXX and the Thunderbirds all have in common? Private islands. Whether you’re a business magnate, a wildly polarising (delicious) beer, or a team of marionettes, you simply can’t go past the viscerally sensual pleasure of having an entire island to yourself.
Unless you’re one of those crazy rich weirdos who owns thirteen artificial islands off the coast of Dubai because your grandpa invented the toothbrush or whatever, this dream might seem out of reach – but don’t despair, this dream could temporarily be yours thanks to the magic of Airbnb.
Not limited to letting you nab a couch in the middle of NYC for $25 a night, the home-sharing service apparently has a bunch of private islands listed, at astonishingly cheap prices considering you’re getting, y’know, an ENTIRE ISLAND.
Desperately keen to stay off the coast of Belize but you’re just sick to death of sharing an island with other people? Aren’t we all. Well, for a chill $538 a night you can be sole resident (along with your partner and/or your mates, if you’re feeling generous) of Bird Island, near Placencia.
The island is a quick 20-minute boat ride from the mainland (included in the price), which is, in turn, a short day’s worth of flying from Australia (not included in the price).
If you’re picturing being dropped off and subsequently spending the weekend drinking rainwater from leaves and crying to a volleyball a la ‘Castaway‘, you are in for a pleasant surprise, the cost includes:
“1. One of the best snorkeling and fishing areas in Belize.
2. A well stocked kitchen with basic condiments. Guests need to bring basic staples such as favorite meats, vegetables and drinks.
3. Transportation to and from island from Placencia is included. 
4. Kayaks (2). 
5. Local phone and WiFi. TV/CD player and an excellent movie collection.
6. Barbecue, sundeck, lookout tower and many other such amenities.”

Why you would watch movies indoors when you could be drinking mondo beers from a lookout tower is beyond me, but hey, if that’s your jam it looks like a bloody delightful place to do it. You can check out the listing here and either enthusiastically book a stay or look at your bank balance and cry, whichever feels more natural.

If you reckon shipping you, your mates and your fishing rods off to Central America might be too much of a hassle, you could always consider renting yourself an even bigger island closer to home in Victoria, water might be a bit cold but.
Photo: Airbnb.