Rudd Calls 7th September Election Date

UPDATE : Kevin Rudd has officially announced September 7 as the date for the Federal Election during a press conference at Parliament House this afternoon. Let the games begin.

Kevin Rudd is expected to seek approval from the Governor General on Sunday to secure a September 7th Federal election date, Farifax reports

What’s set to be a dirty race indulged in by the masses—Kevin Rudd asking Australia to lend a fiver so the nation doesn’t fall in to the clutches of Tony Abbott as supreme lord; Tony Abbott launching a campaign that will criticise Rudd as a failed leader and enlisting his daughters as his numéro uno feminist draw card by floating around in lush outfits in an Harper’s Bazaar Australia editorial, providing a first hand account to assure others that “I swear my dad actually isn’t a dick, ok!”; meanwhile everyone casually forgets that politics should be grounded on personalities not parties and this isn’t, in fact, a mud wrestle conducted by two geek dads—will launch on Monday, with a clear finishing line in sight.
The speculated announcement comes days after K-Rudd’s reveal of enlisting Obama’s favourite youth aficionados, who just get us, as accomplices paid to pull obviously fake Cool Dude phrases out of Rudd’s own clouded picture of Gen Y as warped versions of his assumedly damaging teenage days as the class square. Following “cooking with gas” will inevitably be instances of Rudd floundering in trends, while deciding to invite Leigh Sales to join in a violent, heady twerking sesh on the 7:30 Report to demonstrate that he’s a relatable, voteable guy. 
Real Talk: don’t be that guy. Exercise your right to donkey vote and make sure you’re enrolled for the upcoming federal election here.
Via SMH.
Image by: Scott Barbour via Getty