Dressing for a festival during the colder seasons can be a tricky balancing act.
On one hand, you want to go all out so you increase your chances of bands noticing you in the crowd, inviting you to hang out in the VIP area and eventually giving you a supporting slot in their upcoming tour (gotta aim high.)
On the other hand, the colder weather tends to force us into survival mode and warmth is of the utmost importance. I’m waiting for the day evolution does its job and makes us humans impervious to frostbite so I can wear my Daisy Dukes to the snow.
But, what if we ignored the weather as much as possible and just dressed fun and chic-as-schitt? Follow me to suss some bangin’ festival gear that’ll make you look like you’re the life of the rodeo (without people wondering how you’ve kept yourself alive up until this point).
I’M A PLAID GUY…DUH
Look, I’ve heard many-a person state that ‘plaid is back’ but I’ll be damned if I sit here and let people accuse plaid of ever leaving. That shit’s eternal.
Plus, chuck in some sensible Docs and you’ll be stomping over plebs to get to the front of the mosh (where the fun’s at) in no time at all.p
“Don’t call it a comeback, plaid’s been here for years.” – LL Cool J (kind of).
CHECK OUT MY TAN (PANTS)
THRILLS SHORTIE CORD PANT TAN $119.99
Standard tan pants? Perfectly wearable on a normal occasion. Tan cord pants? Mate, slap cord on anything and you’ll be first on my list of people I want to hang out/party/sleep with.
Plus, I personally feel like cord’s a tad warmer than reg pants so you won’t be shivering like a sucker while you crane your neck to see the stage.
MATCH ME IF YOU CAN
Ahh, the party shirt – a festival staple.
If you look closely, though, this is anything but your run-of-the-mill party shirt. While the unisex aspect is naturally 11/10, the main draw for me is that it’s made out of viscose – it’ll feel like you’re wearing nothing at all (nothing at all, nothing at all).
ALL BLACK ERRTHING
Now, I’ll tell you exactly why black tees make you appear both fun and sorted.
They’re fun because people (especially Melburnians) absolutely froth black anything, and they make you look sorted because people are so distracted fawning over your Wednesday Addams appearance, you could be the biggest hot mess in town and nobody would even notice. Win-win.
PUT THAT IN YOUR STRIPE & SMOKE IT
The Puberty Blues-era is back with a vengeance and I for one froth it.
Having never actually lived through the ’70s, I’m merely assuming the Puberty Blues-era meant that everyone wore cool shit like this and spent their free time sitting in the grass to the back of the festival stage just simply being…cool. Tell me I’m wrong, older people.
LET ME SEE YOUR PEACOCK
Oh you’ve definitely got your shit together if you’re rocking some teal shorts & matching jacquet – at least I definitely think you would and for all you guys know, I’m a fashion mogul. Who’s gonna bother digging deeper on that little tidbit? Exactly, just take my word for it – you’d look funky-festival-fresh.
DON’T LET THE FROST-BITE
Alright this is definitely a sensible choice for the nippier festivals but it also says, ‘I’m the guy with the warmest jacket in a 20km radius, everyone flock to me – I shall keep you warm.’
The bonus is if you find yourself in a pickle and you need to crash somewhere other than your bed for the night, you’ve got the next warmest thing right there on your back. Plus it’s tan plaid (!!!).
Given the fact I don’t own any of the above, I’m starting to think I’m neither sorted nor chic-as-schitt. Oh no.