Were you born on November 14? If that is the case it is possible your parents were involved in some unprotected love making on Valentine’s Day – which is exactly nine months before the date of your birth. You are not alone though. Today being Valentine’s Day, let’s reflect on some other people who were more than likely the result of a thanks-for-the-chocolates shag at the end of a Valentine’s Day to remember (because it led to a baby).
PRINCE CHARLES was born on the 14th of November in the year 1948. Do you think Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip were doing it corgi-style on Valentine’s Day in 1948? I do. It was a turbulent time in the late Forties and Britain was still recovering from World War II. The only real certainty in life was that pants-free feeling of being with the person you love the most. So I’ve heard.
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TRAVIS BARKER. O, what amorous magic must have been strong in the air that Valentine’s Day in 1975 when Randy and Gloria Barker embraced in the penis-into-vagina style of embrace that typically leads to babies! Without the meeting of their loins we’d be bereft of Blink-182, not to mention The Aquabats.
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JOSH DUHAMEL might never had existed if not for that Valentine’s Day je ne sais quoi which led Larry Duhamel, an advertisement salesman, and his high school teacher wife Bonny to bone each other. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Josh went on to star in a godawful movie called The Romantics. Romance must be a Duhamel family trait. Ho ho!
YANNI entered the world on November 14 in 1954 and for that lovers of excess man hair, magnificent keyboard playing and music described as “an ethnic clash” will forever be thankful (though maybe not consciously) of the Valentine’s Day when Yanni’s parents Dared To Dream of having sex. Then they DID have sex.
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VERONICA LAKE. When I hear the word ‘sex’ I immediately think of Veronica Lake’s parents having sex and nine months later having a baby with exquisite cheek bones named Constance Frances Marie Ockelman who later selected the stage name of Veronica Lake.
PATRICK WARBURTON AKA SEINFELD’S DAVID PUTTY was born on November 14, 1964. Was he the fruits of a clandestine Valentine’s Day rendezvous between one human and one cartoon [seriously. Look at the guy.]? Survey* says: YES.
*No survey has been completed.
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OBIE TRICE. Obie Trice? More like Obie Tries Not To Think Of His Parents Having Sex On Valentine’s Day In 1977 Because They Totally Did.
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CONDOLEEZZA RICE. Do you think Condoleeza Rice’s parents knew they were making the 66th United States Secretary of State when they fornicated on that fateful Valentine’s Day of 1954? I like to think so.
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LOUISE BROOKS is exactly the kind of offspring I would hope to have if I was the (I’m guessing) achingly glamourous and terribly self-interested Leonard and Myra Brooks, throwing a leg over on a hot Valentine’s Day in the year 1906.
ASTRID LINDGREN is the late Swedish author who wrote the book Pippi Longstocking and, according to Wikipedia, is the world’s 20th most translated author. Great effort! Astrid was born on November 14 in 1907 and while I know zero about the people who spawned her, if there’s anything I’ve learned from the movies of Ingmar Bergman it’s that Swedish people something-something sex something-something death despair betrayal something Valentine’s Day.
Photo via Wikipedia
JOSEPH MCCARTHY was kind of a douchebag because he ruined all those people’s lives when he went on a rampant demagogic witch-hunt for Communists in the United States, but that doesn’t mean his parents Timothy and Bridget were anything less than spectacular in the sack when creating him on Valentine’s Day, 1908! That’s what people call a non sequitur.
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