Hey, people reading this! Do you feel absolutely SEEN by that headline? Yeah, same. I have a long history of being sucked in by fuckboys, where you’re like “hahaha I’m not going to get EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED” and then next minute you’re putting your star sign + their star sign into an astrology site to see if you’re compatible long-term, even though you haven’t had a text reply in a week.
Fuckboys have led to multiple emotional breakdowns in my life, it’s a fact. And the morning after every breakdown is always complete panic stations as I try to hide the fact I have two small, swollen mice-eyes on my face – not to mention dark circles from staying up stalking Instagram pages like my psychologist specifically told me not to! Haha!
Thing is, when you have a big baby cry you need concealing products AND eye products. Some things will give you the quick fix you NEED at 8.50am when you’re racing out the door, others are something you should use over the week to prevent the 100-year-old look. This article has a mixture of both.
Learn from my pit of hell, my friends. Also – fuck that fuckboy OFF would you? You are way too good for that shit, even if it’s for a no-strings root. At least find some dude who won’t send you his artistic dick pics when you don’t ask for it, k? (Also I never learn from my mistakes so no judgement bb’s, we’re all on a learning curve that also maybe never ends haha fml).
These are so good! You know why? They really stick to your under-eye area, so you can walk around of a morning with them on, doing your hair and finding an outfit that makes you look like hot shit that you can then use in a thirst trap on your Insta Story. They also leeeegit calm down puffiness and brighten the under eye area.
KEVYN AUCOIN THE VOLUME MASCARA
The best thing you can do to make your eyes look NOT squidgy is to apply a killer mascara. This Kevyn Aucoin one NEVER fails me – it lifts lashes, makes them longer and more fan-like, and best of all it doesn’t smudge or stream down your face if you have a minor toilet cry during the day.
ESTEE LAUDER ADVANCED NIGHT REPAIR EYE CONCENTRATE
This pricey babey is my favourite eye treatment everrrrr. It never irritates my sensitive under eye area, and over time really makes ’em look brighter and firmer. It’s not a quick fix, but it’s a nice one to use if you’re wanting a long-term effect.
This is the HOLY GRAIL of concealers, mates. This is what you use when your under-eye is so dark it’s gone green. You pack this stuff on, then add powder and BAM! You’re amazing! Crying? You? Haha! Never! Don’t even think about that guy, absolutely haven’t got 10 drafts in my phone’s notes section addressed to him.
IT COSMETICS BYE BYE UNDER EYE CREAM
It Cosmetics is amazing, and this eye cream is pretty darn good. It just feels NOURISHING, like giving your poor eyes some much needed hydration after all that agressive rubbing and sobbing into pillows. This is one to use the morning after, for suuuure.
TARTE PACK YOUR BAGS 911 UNDEREYE RESCUE PATCHES
I just love that these are in a teeny suitcase, are called “911 rescue” which isn’t dramatic at ALL and perfectly suits your mood when you’ve been left on read AGAIN by some guy. Oh, they also do a bang-up job of soothing a very irritated under eye area.
THE ORDINARY CAFFEINE SOLUTION 5%
Caffeine’s been proven to help out with puffiness and dark circles, and The Ordinary is one of those brands that never seem to fail. So this is a sure, under-a-$20 bet for using each morning. Way better to spend your cash on this guy than on maxing out your phone data trawling through that guys-sisters-best friend’s-boyfriend’s Instagram page to find evidence OG guy is boning other girls.
