It’s that time of year, once again, when Jacaranda flowers are starting to bloom, cold beer has begun to taste better, and there’s a dramatic surge in hookup frequency: It’s Finals Footy time. The next two weekends will be peak season for Australia’s publicans as hordes of flag-flying, scarf-ensconced mega fans and non-fans alike are consumed by Finals Fever, starting with the AFL Grand Final between Hawthorn and Fremantle at the MCG on Saturday, September 28 at 2:30pm AEST.
In keeping with the traditions of Finals week, the Brownlow Medal ceremony took place in Melbourne last night, and continued its reign as the least spectator-friendly televised award ceremony on earth. The most entertaining part of the night is the red carpet arrivals where we are treated to a glimpse of the WAGs in all their resplendent, taffeta-adorned, spray-tanned-to-the-hilt glory (and the always welcome presence of Brynne Edelsten). Last night was all about girls, gowns and a guy named Gary.
YELLOW
Note: I was toying with grouping these WAGs according to the team their partner plays for but made an executive decision to do it based on the colour of their gowns because I’m not sure who plays for which team. Can I also note that the WAGs are an overwhelmingly good looking bunch with more hair per person than the average population sample? I think I just did.
Nic Naitanui‘s girlfriend Elle Demasi glows in reflective canary yellow and diamond jewels.
Jonathan Brown’s wife Kylie jumps on the pink trend in this iridescent gown with a deflated balloon for a top.
Exciting colour and the front zip is fun but there’s statement shoulders, then there’s shoulder pads that make you the shape of an upside-down triangle.
Andrew Walker is with his partner Kylie Battye who is wearing a dress that reminds me of something, I just can’t quite put my finger on what…
… but suddenly it hit me.
What a handsome couple and a pretty dress. One of the best looks of the night.
Harry O’Brien is looking sharp in the navy tux but his date – who I’m 99% sure is Kelis – looks radiant in this drapey gathered rose pink frock.
Here is Andrew Swallow and wife Elise. They are so blonde, attractive, tan and fit that if they rocked up to Surfer’s Paradise someone would thrust a bedazzled sceptre in their hands and be like “rule over us”.
Rebecca Judd wears a J’Aton Couture creation that looks to have been inspired by the epidermal cells of a leaf. If there is such thing as the Evil Queen Of Leaf she would wear this.
Pretty red look.
More red lace, also looks nice.
Brett Deledio and wife Kate must have practiced their awkward Red Carpet smiles together because they got the look perfectly in synch.
‘SEX BACK’
This lady is Jimmy Bartel‘s date Nadia Coppolino showing off a little Brownlow favourite I like to call ‘sex back’. Unfortunately she’s showing a bit too much of that nude slip. Go for straight up butt next time, Nadia.
Clementine McVeigh, wife of Jarrad McVeigh, flashes her evenly bronzed shoulder blades in this pewter sequins with a mini train. The entire look probably weighs more than its wearer.
I love it when a girl rolls up, discovers she’s the only one wearing a pantsuit and smiles apologetically to the camera. Her partner is a handsome bearded dude whose name remains unknown (couldn’t be bothered to look it up at this point). They are cute.
