Food is sexy.
Take a hot apple pie for example.
Decadently sweet; its heady aroma will make your mouth water. Its exterior, so proud, is an inviting golden brown. The inside? Don’t get me started on the inside. Warm and moist, with a hint of spice… it’s practically begging for you to tuck in.
sorry
You know what else is sexy? Sexts. And you may be surprised to know that food and sex, well, they’re interchangeable.
Here, we take 19 salacious texts and reimagine them the way they should be; about foodstuff.
1. Too bad you didn’t sleep over, we would have had just enough time before work.
… to get us a McMuffin
2. Guess which part of your body I dreamed about last night?
cheeky
3. Work is boring so I’m thinking about how sexy you look instead.
fuuuuuck me
4. I think my desk is just about the right height for us to fool around on.
and by fool, i mean food
5. You looked so fucking sexy last night.
oomph
6. I wish you could have joined me in the shower this morning.
7. I wish your cock was in my mouth right now.
it’s funny because cock is another word of chicken
8. I wish I could tell you what I’d do to you if you were here right now.
i would bruce bogtrot the shit out of you
9. I need to give you a BJ under your desk one day.
10. I keep blushing at work because the dream I had about you last night was so dirty.
11. I have some special plans for us tonight.
this
12. Have you ever been blindfolded?
sure i have
13. Is it wrong that I get turned on at work just from remembering how good you smell?
nothing will ever compare to the entrancing scent of an open-doored subway store
14. I can’t sleep, I just keep thinking about all the things I would do to you if you were here.
15. I picked out my panties today because they match the colour of your eyes.
black
16. My mouth misses you.
once more for the cheap seats at the back
17. Guess which part of you I’m missing right now?
your ribs
18. What clothes are you wearing today? I want to know how much time it’s going to take to get you naked when I see you.
when it come in the foil and the paper it is so much effort
19. Looking forward to having my hands all over you later.
never related more to homie in my life
We leave you with the pièce de résistance of all sex food related pieces of content:
Photo: Carl Jr.
