It’s Only NBA Pre-Season But Zion Williamson Is Already Collecting Bodies, Holy Shit

We need to be clear about this: it is the NBA pre-season. The regular season doesn’t start for another coupla weeks. But apparently unanimous number one draft pick/human Mack truck Zion Williamson is treating it like it’s mid-April already, because his first “official” NBA minutes were practically destructive.

It took Zion, almost indisputably the NBA’s most hyped rookie since LeBron James, all of about 3 minutes to put some poor, unsuspecting Atlanta Hawks defender in the dirt.

The prized New Orleans recruit, a giant behemoth of a man who at just 19 years of age somehow looks like he spent the past 40 years skin-grafted to a barbell, looked about ready to smash the backboard apart like it was the 4th quarter in NBA Jam on a number of occasions. All within a mere matter of minutes.

ZION HAS ARRIVED pic.twitter.com/wb7fNg0viy

— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) October 7, 2019

THINGS ARE HAPPENING pic.twitter.com/AofZxdQp3i

— New Orleans Pelicans (@PelicansNBA) October 7, 2019

Zion slams it home again ????

Get used to this, @NBA pic.twitter.com/9fD0bX8Qqi

— ESPN (@espn) October 8, 2019

I mean, jesus fucken christ. That’s illegal. I have no idea how, but that’s illegal. Surely. Has to be.

The internet predictably exploded with various all-caps reactions to Williamson’s efforts, which saw him become a college basketball phenom during his time at Duke. But really, this one take sums up the prospect of a fully-unleashed Zion in the grown-ass NBA better than any other.

seriously though, some wannabe hero is gonna step in and try and take a charge when Zion is rolling downhill and they're gonna have to identify him by his dental records

— Russ Bengtson (@russbengtson) October 8, 2019

Old mate fixing to turn some poor depth chart sap into a smoking crater in the ground by Christmas. Holy shit.

Again, it’s the fucking pre-season.

The pre- of the season.

Holy shit.