The Commonwealth Games in Glasgow, Scotland are fast approaching. With athletes selected and teams readying their final preparations, all that’s left is to unveil the uniforms that shall designate the fact that WE ARE AUSTRALIA whilst braving the bitter summer months of the Northern United Kingdom. In layman’s terms, its that special time where the holy triumvirate of sport, national pride, and fashion intersect nicely to spit out monstrosities previously thought unheard of.
We’ve already seen the official uniforms that our athletes will be wearing into the opening ceremony – lots of wool to protect against the nasty Scottish summer freeze. Now we’ve got a look at what will be slicing water as our swimmers take to the pool.
In a word? YIKES.
Looking less like actual sporting attire and more like something Ken Done shat through a Mambo shirt whilst high on carpet cleaner, the swimsuits might well be effectively streamlined for optimum performance, but have the added bonus of imploring some of the vainer countries to stay back for fear of being caught in a photo finish with one of them.
Though, y’know. Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! and all that.
Photos: Chris Hyde via Getty Images.
