40-year-0ld Tom Brady gets to go to yet another Super Bowl, and that’s great for him, probably.
Brady and the New England Patriots defeated the Jacksonville Jaguars in a tediously predictable AFC Championship game that followed the NFL‘s stock-standard “Patriots win” script so closely that every member of the Patriots offence now qualifies for SAG membership.
Despite leaping out to an early lead from the domineering Jags, Brady and the Patriots engineered a fourth-quarter comeback that echoes countless other New England games, securing the Boston-based side a spot in Super Bowl LII, scheduled to take place on Monday, February 5th (Australian time).
This is New England’s second consecutive appearance in the Super Bowl, their third in four years, their fourth in seven years, and their eighth in the past sixteen years. It means that, on average, the Patriots will have appeared in the Super Bowl once every two years since 2002. They’ve won five Super Bowls in that time.
Today’s appearance in the AFC Championship game was the seventh straight year that the Patriots, and Tom Brady, have appeared in the conference decider, with the last time they missed it being back in the 2010-2011 season. Since the 2001-2002 season, the Patriots have only missed the AFC Championship game on five occasions.
Here’s a hot take for you: Tom Brady is a petulant sook, definitely voted Trump, and – at 40-years-old – is single-handedly ensuring the NFL is completely void of fun by rendering each and every season ultimately boring and pointless by constantly asserting his presence in the playoffs.
While other professional sporting leagues in America, and indeed around the world, ride a wave of wild unpredictability and fairytale championship runs from perennially long-suffering franchises, the New England Patriots remain a soul-sucking burden on the NFL – an ersatz criminal organisation who escapes the full brunt of global sporting anti-corruption scrutiny purely because FIFA still exists. And they will be a burden that remains as long as Tom Brady – a man whose baffling refusal to age can only be chalked up to ancient Republican rituals conducted as the President cranks his awful hog while gazing at photos of him – keeps insisting on pushing whatever half-baked point he feels he has to prove.
The Patriots suck, Tom Brady sucks, and if the Patriots don’t get physically dacked mid-game then the Super Bowl will also suck.
That’s my considered take on the matter.
But anyway, here’s some jokes from Twitter.
When you get retweeted by Eric Trump. pic.twitter.com/GOue6aFwK7
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) January 21, 2018
ESPN stats: #Patriots make it back to the Super Bowl for first time since 2017.
— Liam Martin (@LiamWBZ) January 21, 2018
Don’t know what’s more annoying…
The fact my seatbelt alarm keeps ringing even though I’m wearing it
The fact Tom Brady is in the Super Bowl again
— Cameron Magruder (@ScooterMagruder) January 21, 2018
— Brian MacMillan (@BMacTV) January 21, 2018
Still, y’know… Good player, gotta actually beat him, more power to him, etc.