In the wee hours of Monday morning, Australia won the second of five test matches against arch-rival England. TBH, the game felt more like an episode of trashy reality TV for all the shouting, name-calling and dummy-spitting on display. Let’s chat about it in language that won’t make you want to rip your eyeballs out.
The Ashes is a series played between Australia and England every two years. The prize is literally a little urn (hence, “ashes”) and it’s one of the most famous contests in world cricket.
England hasn’t won since 2015 which is one of the reasons they’re so desperate to claim this series. For King and country — etc etc blah blah blah.
The drama-filled game that ended on Monday morning (AEST) was the second in a series of five, five-day matches. Meaning, if Australia wins one more game, they regain The Ashes.
England looked as though they could’ve made a comeback, with batsmen Ben Stokes and Jonny Bairstow at the crease.
Then, tragedy (if you’re English) struck.
Bairstow ducked under a high ball, letting it go through to the Australian wicketkeeper Alex Carey who catches it. No worries so far.
Mistakenly thinking the play was over, Bairstow walked out of his crease (the zone in which he’s considered “safe” as long as he stays inside), and Carey threw the ball at the stumps.
It hits and Bairstow is out, meaning he won’t be receiving a rose today.
Now, technically this was a correct decision by the umpires. Australia got Bairstow out. Fair and square.
But, in another one of their post-empire tantrums, the England players and supporters couldn’t stomach this and began to dub the wicket “not in the spirit of the game”.
They argued that since Bairstow had no intention of gaining an advantage by walking out of his crease (that safe zone we spoke about earlier), Carey shouldn’t have even attempted to get him out.
Post-game, when Stokes was asked his thoughts on the matter, he replied with, “would I want to potentially win a game with something like that happening[? It] would be no”.
Lol, fkn sore losers.
When the Australia players were walking back into the clubhouse, MCC (Marylebone Cricket Club) members, who are allowed to occupy the same room as the players, hurled verbal abuse with one bloke even trying to trip Aussie batsman David Warner.
Three members of the MCC have been suspended for their gross actions. Actions, you could argue, were also “not in the spirit of the game”.
But it still didn’t end there.
On Tuesday morning, a spokesperson for British PM Rishi Sunak‘s office issued the press with the following statement per the ABC.
“The Prime Minister agrees with Ben Stokes. He said he simply wouldn’t want to win a game in the manner Australia did.”
Pettiness truly does extend to the highest levels of government. Surprise surprise.
Despite the mess, the last laugh went to the Aussie PM Anthony Albanese, who applauded both the men’s and women’s teams for crunching the poms.
So there you have it.
You’re all up to date and are ready to smash your pub trivia’s sports round.