Nick Kyrgios Cops A $23,500 Fine For Jacking Off His Water Bottle On Live TV

Nick Kyrgios has had his winnings garnished ever-so-slightly for the crime of pretending a water bottle was his peanus, jerking it furiously, and making it jizz, all on live global television in a major Wimbledon warm-up event. Unbelievable stuff, really.

Kyrgios was competing in a semi final matchup of the Queen’s Club Championships against Croatian Marin Čilić over the weekend when, between games, the 23-year-old Aussie up and decided to jank his bottle bepis. As you do when you are the most normal man.

Ahh yes. Normal stuff, folks.

He finished out the match, copping a straight-sets loss 7-6 7-6 to Čilić, who went on to win the tournament the following day.

But, would you even believe, the ATP Tour didn’t take too kindly to old mate water jizzing all over the place, would you believe. Tour officials slapped the Aussie star with a €15,000 (around AUD$23,590) fine for the obscene gesture, which will come out of his €105,480 (AUD$165,531) pay packet for reaching the semi final.

Whether or not the punishment fits the crime, Kyrgios – at least for the moment – doesn’t seem too fazed about the whole thing, offering a small remark about his on-court performance on social media after losing the match.

That whacky Nick. What’ll he do next!