Credit where it’s due, even though they got utterly trounced by Richmond in the preliminary final, the Geelong Cats playing group has somehow found it within themselves to get back up, put on costumes, and head into the pub for the club’s annual and highly celebrated Wacky Wednesday celebrations.
Every year the club’s playing list shows up to the end-of-season pissup in various outrageous costumes which tend to rank on the higher end of the scale in terms of effort and impressiveness. This year’s crop is certainly no exception to that.
‘Course, like any good costume gathering, there’s more than a handful of stale references in the bunch. And if you’re either Gary Ablett or Luke Dahlhaus you might want to smash that refresh button, because Alan from The Hangover and Salt Bae have certainly been done more than a few times before.
Credit where it’s due though: Ablett using a real baby in this version is a hell of a modifier.
The others though? Incredible stuff.
Patrick Dangerfield coming as Port Adelaide player-cum-firefighter-cum-media pest Kane Cornes is a hell of a dig, even if Cornes couldn’t let him have the last word on it.
He forgot the premiership medal… pic.twitter.com/e8T0M160ik
— Kane Cornes (@kanecornes) September 25, 2019
There was some mild embarrassment for both Tom Stewart and Cameron Guthrie, who showed up wearing the same John Wick costume which surely means one of them had to go change (definitely not Guthrie, who went all out with the facial wounds and a faithful dog companion).
The entire youth population of Hawkins also showed up to proceedings, with Jack Henry, Stefan Okunbor, Jed Bews, Jake Kolodjashnij, Sam Simpson, Quinton Narkle, and Jordan Cunico proving that the Upside Down is probably somewhere in Corio.
Ironically enough though, the team’s actual Hawkins didn’t get on board the Netflix worship, with Tom Hawkins instead choosing to absolutely roast teammate Gary Rohan‘s infamous under-18s photo shoot, complete with an actual chook.
Elsewhere, there’s Zach Guthrie and Rhys Stanley as two versions of the Captain America transformation.
There’s Joel Selwood being a little less “actual Freddie Mercury” and a little more “Nick Riewoldt firing down the ice slide at the MCG.”
And then there was this excellent self-roast from Mark Blicavs, accepting his acting Oscar for his outrageous staging effort back in July, flanked by Brandon Parfitt as an entirely decent Bruno Mars.
But if you’re looking for the 3-2-1 of the day, one vote goes to Wylie Buzza, who pointed out his lack of senior AFL game time this season with a remarkably good little shot at team management.
Two votes goes to Zac Smith, who showed up as a literal shit-stained toilet because apparently the boys won’t stop leaving big dirty skiddies in the Kardinia Park loos (seriously).
But for the three vote, costume-of-the-day effort, it’s hard to go past Scott Selwood and Esava Ratugolea as a remarkably good Billy Rae Cyrus and Lil Nas X from the beyond-iconic Old Town Road film clip.
Absolutely bloody nailed it. Top work lads. Better luck next year.