The big news for anyone who loves to get drunk in a suit and/or get their monarchy on is the the rumors circulating that the Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall will be including a trip to the Melbourne Cup in their itinerary for the upcoming tour. Officially the visit is part of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee celebrations but a stop off at the races is more likely to serve as a clear justification for exiling the convicts in the name of imperial expansion.

Should the rumors eventuate, it spells disaster for other celebrities wishing to make their mark at the prestigious social calendar date. Unfortunately stuffy monarchs trumps washed up soap stars so Mischa Barton (the only confirmed guest so far) will have to cop the comped trip and endless free shit on the chin. We wonder if Charles will take the opportunity to mingle with the great unwashed? Probably not.