Luckiest Bloke In ’Straya Wins $125,000 Off A $9 Bet At The Melbourne Cup

Right now, even as you suck down multiple coffees, even as you fight the urge to hurl on public transport, even as you accuse your screen of being too fucking bright, some lucky, lucky bastard is trotting around almost $126,000 richer.

This bloke successfully picked Prince of Penzance, Max Dynamite, Criterion, and Trip To Paris to finish in the top four, turning a NINE DOLLAR PUNT into $125,903 yesterday, and fuck me, if that isn’t the greatest Australian success story of our time.

It had odds of more than 12,000-1 to collect.

He collected. 

Nope we can’t even, bye.