It almost felt like it wasn’t going to bloody happen but it’s here – the AFL finals are kicking off tonight with a huge qualifying final between Geelong and Port Adelaide. To celebrate this chaotic season’s finals, we’re taking a moment to appreciate all the fresh salads across the eight teams vying for the silverware. Who’s got the best mullet on the park?
It’s all happening and there’s a huge weekend of finals footy ahead of us, but the real excellence lies on the players’ heads – quite literally. Join us in honouring all the finest parties in the back.
Port Adelaide Power
Storming in with the loosest lid at Friday night footy, Scott Lycett is a bottle of Head N’ Shoulders above everyone else out there. I mean just look at this lid. That salad combined with the moustache is flirting with danger, my good dude.
Geelong Cats
In a team that’s largely well-trimmed back and sides, it’s truly difficult to find anyone who’s business up front and party in the back. Who do we even go for in the finals squad when they haven’t put Jordan Clark in the midfield? Gryan Miers??
????
Sydney Swans
Much like Geelong, I feel like the Swans have always been a very clean and trim team. Maybe it’s an aerodynamics thing or all the boys lived in the eastern suburbs where the short back and sides was the preferred chop. But now they have Justin McInerney with this frankly luxurious set of curls that you can’t look past.
Sure, it’s no trailing mullet that you could plait or cut into an Anakin Skywalker jedi braid, but I’ll take it.
GWS Giants
Jake Stein. A man with a lid like an in-built legionnaires hat. Do I need to say more?
Brisbane Lions
There’s no doubt in my mind that Nakia Cockatoo served up the finest mullet in the Queensland side this season, and then he went and chopped it off. Which leaves me with reverting back to quietly admiring Joe Daniher‘s barely-there neck ticklers. Cocky, please bring back this glorious mane, I beg.
Melbourne Demons
Look, it’s a bit of a stretch but it’s slim picking for the finals squad over at the Dees. I’ll have to say Eddy Langdon, if only he trimmed those sideburns – so much length, so much potential.
Western Bulldogs
It’s Bailey Smith. Of course it’s Bailey Smith. What do you take me for? An amateur??
Hoo boy I need to take a lap.
Essendon Bombers
My beloved lads, and some of the most ridiculous bonces in the biz. I simply can’t go past big lad Sam Draper‘s mane that borders on full-blown skullet areas. A king among men. Love him and his mullet protégé, Sam Durham.
And if all these mullets have gone and gotten you all ~inspired~ you too can get amongst the rude heads, and do it for a good cause too. Sign up to Mullets For Mental Health, break out the scissors and/or clippers, and have at it in the bathroom. Here, we even threw together a little guide on how to do it – you’re welcome, don’t tell Mum we helped.
The 2021 AFL finals season kicks off tonight from 7.50pm tonight with the big clash between Port and Geelong at Adelaide Oval. Finals season baby, you beauty.
