What’s that, you say? Valentine’s Day is a crock of shit/Hallmark holiday/people who celebrate it are beneath you?

Yeah, well, enjoy your girlfriend being stolen right out from under your nose by this superior being. This absolute Casanova.

That’s Spike The Beetle, a true romantic and look, probably a bit of a lothario. He seems like a potential ratbag but he will absolutely steal your girl, so it’s really irrelevant whether he calls her back after they beetle-bone (sorry).

Spike’s got other interests. Like cooking:

Hanging out with mates, shooting the shit, you know.

He’s also really deep and an artist, OK guys? He’s got a lot of creative juices he needs to get flowing. Don’t get in the way.

He also likes CLIMBING UP HIS OWNERS SLEEVE GOOD LORD NO STOP THIS MADNESS AT ONCE.

Ok look guys I was playing the funnies with Spike The Beetle and how he was going to steal your girl, but now it’s not funny and it’s just giving me hives thinking about a human person who has a pet beetle they let climb inside the sleeves of their jumper.

Screw all of that.

Image: Twitter / @spikethebeetle