So it turns out that in Nambour, Queensland, there lives a wild emu who the locals have nicknamed Fluffy. Fluffy is very friendly. Some might say… too friendly.

Fluffy’s flirtatiousness has been well-documented, but perhaps never so thoroughly or so entertainingly as in this particular video, of cyclist Charlotte Benjamin getting – well, basically felt up by what appears to be a very horny emu.

Poor Charlotte understandably stays perfectly still while the feathery perve rubs itself all over her. Heard of #MeToo, you fuzzy bastard?

Shout out to the videographer, who answers Charlotte’s reasonable question of “what do I do” with the very helpful response of “I dunno”. Good job mate.

Online punters have praised the cyclist for staying still and calm, ‘cos apparently emu, ridiculous-looking fluffy dickheads that they might be, can actually be kinda dangerous.

Hard to imagine something that runs exactly like a muppet could be dangerous, but there you go.

Bushwalkers and cyclists of Nambour, take heed: there lurks in the rainforest a feathery sex pest named Fluffy, and the price you may have to pay to walk these tracks is getting all loved up on by that big, dumb bird. Hard to say no to an emu. You’ve been warned.

Source: ABC