Today in things that are a big fat nope: a Sydney man has found a giant wolf spider in his backyard and, once again, NOPE.
The man took to the r/Sydney subreddit to share the find, which quite literally looks like the size of a fucking cavoodle.
Reddit users were quick to point out that 1 – the spider looks like Aragog from Harry Potter, and 2 – this is fucked.
Thankfully, wolf spiders aren’t deadly to humans, but they’re also not exactly the sort of animal you’d want a kiss from either.
They grow up to 8cm and are found pretty much all over Australia, usually in your garden (case in point: this guy in Sydney).
But if you ignore the fact that wolf spiders are venomous and require you to seek urgent medical attention if they bite you, this guy is sorta cute.
I mean, he just looks like an eight-legged, venomous puppy. *bork bork*
As one Reddit user put it, its just the legs that are a big nope.
“He almost looks cute, like if you just look at his eyes/face only. But as soon as you see them lanky legs.. shudder.”
I know, I know, spiders are fucked. I’ve seen Eight-Legged Freaks, I’ve seen Arachnophobia. I know! But I truly think we give these fucked little fellas a bad rap. They’re just out here trying to live their life and we just kill them for existing. It’s rude.
Honestly, this spooky boy is just a living Halloween decoration. I reckon he’s just popped in to say “boo” for the spooky season and this guy should be thanking him for his service.
If it were up to me, I’d give this spooky little fella a treat and let him make a home in my garden.