We Can Only Assume That This 3m-Long Diamond Python Was Doing Some Essential Shopping Today

Woolies snake

An erect diamond python was spotted poking out of the spice aisle at a NSW supermarket, and footage of the shopping snake is even more cursed than it sounds.

The rigid hiss puppy had been slithering around a Woolies in Glenorie, just outside Sydney, when one woman got the fright of her life.

“I was browsing and turned to my left and he had come out and his face was about 20cm from mine, just looking at me,” she told 7News.

She described the 3m-long danger noodle as “super mellow” and “not aggressive at all”.

As luck would have it, the woman in question was also a volunteer snake catcher in a past life (we swear we’re not making this up) and so she spring unto action to rescue the slitherpuss.

“It was almost like he was asking me to take him outside,” she told 7News.

“I just happened to be the one that found it.

“He must have been there for at least a few hours. He was sort of hidden behind the spices and I didn’t see him at first.”

Anyway, out of this whole ordeal we now have yet another clip to send to our American and European friends who think Aussie cities are overrun with snakes and other deadly animals.

If you’re American, stop reading now. The final quote is for Aussies only.

“I’m glad I’m the one that found him, most people would have freaked out!” the dutiful former snake catcher said.

Same, tbh.