Crows are fucking terrifying. I am not one of those weirdos who’s scared of birds (no offence if you are, you weirdo), but crows are monster birds who are laying their terrible plans against us.
They are sinister-looking, highly intelligent and grow to be bloody huge. Not only can they solve complex puzzles, they can also tear your goddamn eyes out with their beaks.
And if that’s not bad enough, they’re apparently getting into hard drugs now.
Some Perth cops got a weird surprise when they pulled into a petrol station and found a bag of meth lying on the ground – obviously confused, they dug into the CCTV to find whoever and left it there.
Less obviously, that culprit turned out to be a crow who had fished it out of the trash. Look, I’m not saying that the crow put it there and that this crow is in fact a meth dealer, that would be crazy. I’m just saying we should keep an open mind.
What a world.
