VIC Lib Supporter Takes ‘Eat Your Greens’ Literally, Allegedly Bites Woman

If you’re a fan of the weird tension only a federal election can bring, the electorate of Higgins in inner-south east Melbourne has probably been pinging like mad on your radar for the past fortnight. 

Well. Days after Twitter launched an investigation into the Victorian Liberal Party over a shady copyright claim in defense of candidate and assistant treasurer Kelly O’Dwyer, a suspected supporter of her crew has allegedly bitten a worker from the Greens camp. 

Yeah. Like, with his teeth. A real, adult human apparently aired his political grievances last night by launching his gnashers on a woman who had been pasting up posters in primo spots in the vicinity.

A member of the local Greens’ branch who was accompanying the woman at the time said “two men approached us in the car… we’re talking about the heart of Liberaldom, here.”

“I wound down the window and they got aggressive. We had been advised that if we felt threatened by people we should take their photo.

My fellow Green took out her phone to do that and the guy reached across me and grabbed her and was trying to pull her phone away.”

In the altercation, her thumb was bitten, causing “soreness” and more than likely some grade A confusion.

Presumably after questioning themselves if the past few minutes had actually bloody happened, the Greens duo hiked down to Prahran police station to make a statement. 

They say they found a slew of their posters torn down upon their return. FWIW, a spokesperson from O’Dwyer’s camp said the event simply never happened, but Victorian Police are investigating the incident.

This bizarro happening makes a lil’ more sense when you realise the traditionally rusted-on Liberal seat is facing mounting pressure from the Greens. Expect some full-on Luis Suarez action if their man Jason Ball pulls off a miracle victory.

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