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There aren’t that many hard-and-fast rules when it comes to riding on Australian public transport, but one curiously shitty American has gone and broken the lot of them. And then uploaded a video of himself doing it. To YouTube. Where everyone can see it.

A US anti-abortion preacher has bravely shared footage of an entire Sydney train carriage dunking mercilessly on him after he attempted to forcefully sermonise about sins and unborn babies and whathaveyou on a jam-packed peak hour train, only to be met with – would you believe – several incredulous commuters telling him to shut the fuck up.

The absolutely insane 6-minute video, uploaded by some mob called Torch of Church Ministries, shows the bloke loudly interrupt everyone’s quiet time on a train travelling through Sydney’s City Loop to give a fire-and-brimstone speech about the sins of abortion and how we’re all going to hell or whatever.

In response, an absolute hero middle-aged bloke who, God love him, just wants to read his book in peace, mercilessly rinses the preacher for being a selfish gronk.

It’s absolutely glorious gear. Wrap your eyes around it immediately.

Highlights:

  • The almost immediate use of “why are you so triggered, friend” which at this point should be an addendum of Godwin’s Law.
  • Lambasting everyone with “the pleasures of life and the taste of sin is too great” while wearing a goddamned Nike shirt.
  • Daddy Hero with his book there absolutely fuckin’ owning old mate claiming “I have been in prisons in El Salvador, I’ve been in the slums of India” with the molten hot killshot “We all have our stories.”

Incredible stuff all around. Put it in the national library as a cultural artefact.

Honestly, a tourist visa stamp should have the three absolute rules of Australian train etiquette on it:

  1. Shut the fuck up
  2. No eye contact
  3. Every carriage must contain one person eating something hot

It’s a simple system, but it works.