At first, it’s kind of weird to think about how reality TV star and professional bankruptcy declarer Donald Trump‘s face will be shown alongside those of all the other presidents in history books and monuments. After a moment’s reflection, though, you think about Andrew Jackson and the Trail of Tears. You consider how George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and James Madison owned over a thousand slaves between them. You think about George W Bush and the fact that somewhere between 100,000 and 1.2 million Iraqis died as a result of the Iraq War and no WMDs were ever found. It’s not exactly a roster of morally spectacular people.
Still, it is strange to see Trump standing alongside historical presidents in the newly re-opened Hall of Presidents at Disney World – partially because he is such a fundamentally odd-looking dude, but also just because this particular robot looks weird as fuck.
Pictured: Old Biff from Back to the Future. (Photo: Twitter / WDW News)
Despite the fact that he’s never strung a single coherent sentence together without trailing off into nonsense, Disney somehow managed to record a soundbite for the robot to deliver that isn’t confusing to children, offensive to minorities, or a brag about women he has touched without their permission. As the Orlando Sentinel reports and in a wildly uncharacteristic move, he delivers a somewhat eloquent message of hope:
Above all, to be American is to be an optimist – to believe that we can always do better – and that the best days of our great nation are still ahead of us. It’s a privilege to serve as the President of the United States, to stand here among so many great leaders of our past, and to work on behalf of the American people.
You can tell he didn’t write it because it doesn’t start with “As Americans – I’ve always said this – here in America, we’re – this is something I’ve said a lot – we’re really the best… We’re… Here in America, being an optimist is, well, we’re the best optimists. We love being optimists here in Amerca.”
Because (as far as I’m aware) the internet’s only purpose is to topically ridicule things in short but intense bursts, the hideous facsimile of Trump has been swiftly and powerfully owned:
if you’re ever feeling insecure just look at the trump animatronic in the hall of presidents. you’ll instantly feel like a 10/10 compared to that thing. pic.twitter.com/ZN5pCuJp2T
— marie ♡ (@muhhhrie) December 19, 2017
Trump robot in the Hall of Presidents looks like a 71-year-old Chucky doll. pic.twitter.com/yLCBmhpNvG
— John Cohen (@JohnCohen1) December 19, 2017
Rutger Hauer looks good for getting abandoned in the desert for like 30 or 40 years. pic.twitter.com/zuCLQEYxot
— 🎃Maggie Serota (@maggieserota) December 19, 2017
It is heartening to think that many many tears from now people will see it & it will be the most ridiculous-looking President robot, including the powdered wig weirdos & muttchop guys.
— Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) December 19, 2017
No offence meant to the incredibly talented people that made it, it’s not their fault they are working with a subject whose body is sustained almost entirely on Diet Coke and who ageing at a rate of 5 years per year.