Update: the OnlyFans account has proven to be fake! Tony Armstrong confirmed it’s not him, and we’ve been catfished.

Australia’s collective husband Tony Armstrong has created an OnlyFans account, just days after his naughty little “bulging dick” slip-up, and I’ve never clicked on anything so fast in my life.

In case you missed it, our beloved Tony was delivering some sports-related news when he dropped what I can only assume was a Freudian slip.

“To cricket news, and Tim Paine is set to undergo neck surgery but medical staff remain confident he will be fit for the Ashes,” he said, on live TV.

“Paine has a bulging dick that has been, bulging disc that has been – that’s a funny one – causing him pain in his neck and left arm and the injury hasn’t responded to treatment.”

Enjoy the footage for yourself below:

Of course, this little gaffe left everyone hot and bothered, and it seems Tony Armstrong isn’t done flustering us. Because, as of today, he has an OnlyFans account.

Yes, of course we’ve subscribed. No, it’s not porn.

For just $4.99 USD a month, you can now access a bunch of exclusive content from Tony, which he said he’ll post a couple times a week. If you think about it, that’s like 85c (AUD) a post. A total bargain, if you ask me.

All the profits till the end of the month (which is less than two weeks away??) will go to The Robert Connor Dawes Foundation, which is an Aussie not-for-profit organisation that facilitates funding in brain research, care and development in the hopes of eliminating brain cancer.

I know, I know, you are desperate to know what two images have already been posted to his OnlyFans. But alas, as loyal subscribers who believe in the spirit of things, we will not be spilling the beans on the details – just that they’re wholesome and probably not what you immediately assumed.