The Plot For Stephenie Meyer’s New Novel Reads A Lot Like ‘Jason Bourne’

Hold on to your poorly constructed and grammatically incorrect butts, guys – Stephenie Meyer is writing another novel.

The woman who set the Twilight books upon the world (and is therefore at least partially responsible for the ‘50 Shades of Grey‘ monstrosity) is back with a book about a secretest agent that ever was.

No, really. From the synopsis:

“She used to work for the U.S. government, but very few people ever knew that. An expert in her field, she was one of the darkest secrets of an agency so clandestine it doesn’t even have a name.

The plot of The Chemist is almost directly lifted from the Jason Bourne series, something Meyer happily admits to.

“The Chemist is the love child created from the union of my romantic sensibilities and my obsession with Jason Bourne/Aaron Cross,” she said. “I very much enjoyed spending time with a different kind of action hero, one whose primary weapon isn’t a gun or a knife or bulging muscles, but rather her brain.”

The Chemist is due out in November. If it’s anything like Twilight, it’ll blow up in a monstrous way and end up launching (and then haunting) the acting careers of 2–3 unsuspecting young hopefuls. If it’s anything like The Host, it’ll make a small, barely distinguishable splash.

Here’s the full synopsis:
  

“She used to work for the U.S. government, but very few people ever knew that. An expert in her field, she was one of the darkest secrets of an agency so clandestine it doesn’t even have a name. And when they decided she was a liability, they came for her without warning. Now she rarely stays in the same place or uses the same name for long. They’ve killed the only other person she trusted, but something she knows still poses a threat. They want her dead, and soon.

“When her former handler offers her a way out, she realises it’s her only chance to erase the giant target on her back. But it means taking one last job for her ex-employers. To her horror, the in-formation she acquires only makes her situation more dangerous. Resolving to meet the threat head-on, she prepares for the toughest fight of her life but finds her-self falling for a man who can only complicate her likelihood of survival. As she sees her choices being rapidly whittled down, she must apply her unique talents in ways she never dreamed of.”

The character does not yet have a name. We suggest Jane Bourne.

Photo: Twilight / Jason Bourne.

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