Hello, yes. It’s Melbourne here. Checking in with the rest of Australia from the happiest place on earth.
Whilst the rest of the nation is set to endure a summer of hangovers where you actually have to leave the house like some sort of fucking pleb to obtain the fabled candy of meats, Melbourne is set to ascend to a higher plane of existence.
Starting this summer, the city will be getting its very own, first-of-its-kind, BACON DELIVERY SERVICE.
It’s called Tervey, and it claims to be Australia’s first “bacon subscription service.” The way it works is seemingly about as straightforward as any Menulog order, except in this scenario you don’t even have to put on pants for when the delivery dude arrives.
You simply place your order online – at your own damned leisure – drift off to the land of nod, and when you awake, the bacon will be waiting for you on your doorstep.
The goods come packaged in a polystyrene box, with dry ice keeping the precious cargo from spoiling in the hot sun.
Better still, the products are top quality, free-range, organic meats – all sourced within a day, from local farms and producers like Greenvale Farms and Otway Pork.
There’s more features and little ins and outs to be had with this vital life-saving initiative. But, really. All you need to know is order bacon, sleep, wake up, bacon.
IT IS THE FUTURE, YOU GUYS. AND WE ARE ALL LIVING IN IT.
Tervey is due to launch this summer. Get heavily involved with it right here.
via Broadsheet.
