It’s no secret that Spotify knows your music taste better than you do. Whether it’s your Discover Weekly, Daily Drive, or the newly popular Daylist feature, the app seems to be obsessed with constantly curating playlists for your every mood. However, as one TikToker has discovered, the intimate playlist curation doesn’t always hit the mark, especially when trying to set the mood.
TikTok user Laura (@young.muppet) took to the app last week declaring that she had just found out that one of the many playlists Spotify had made for her included one labeled “Intimate Mix”, which it apparently generates for every user.
Now when you hear the word “intimate” like that, there’s a pretty fair assumption that Spotify is implying it has curated a set of songs for you to listen to when you are getting intimate with someone.
And honestly, props to the Spotify team for that.
We all know how hard it is to create the perfect playlist for any occasion, let alone for when you’re tryna get your rocks off.
So why not off-hand the task by giving it to a trustworthy algorithm?
Well… the answer may lie in the quality of the mix itself, as Laura highlighted.
@young.muppet Sun Bleached Flies is an insane choice #intimateplaylist #ethelcain #lucydacus #boygenius #chappellroan ♬ Timefighter – Lucy Dacus
Taking us through her very own Intimate Mix, Laura helped set the scene for her viewers.
“So, say you’re getting hot and heavy with Laura. You can enjoy the sound of ‘Sun Bleached Flies‘ by Ethel Cain,” said the TikToker.
Whether you do or don’t love Ethel Cain, her music would seldom be described as an aphrodisiac.
As Laura continued to list more and more songs and artists on her Intimate Mix, a theme began to become clearer and clearer.
However, that theme was not necessarily one that works well during doing the deed.
“‘Night Shift‘ by Lucy Dacus… some more Ethel Cain… Uh, ‘I Know The End‘ by Phoebe Bridgers, so we can just have her screaming over everything,” Laura commented on her auto-generated sexy-time playlist.
Basically, it seems like when Spotify has created an intimate playlist to use in the bedroom, it seems like the end goal is for everyone involved to end up sobbing.
And Laura wasn’t the only one.
In response to her discovery, other TikTokers jumped on the trend and began sharing the absolutely gut-wrenching sob-your-heart-out songs that Spotify had decided to add to their steamy playlists.
Including one person who shared the song at the TOP of their Intimate Mix, with presumably the most ironic title you could expect a song on a sex playlist to have: “We’ll Never Have Sex” by Leith Ross.
@appreciateyourskeleton #stitch with @Laura #greenscreen Spotify really knows how to set the mood?? #intimacy #spotify #leithross #wellneverhaveex ♬ Timefighter – Lucy Dacus
Other users shared their lists which also featured some of the Holy Grail of sad-girl songs, including “Waiting Room” by Phoebe Bridgers.
@centipedemylk #stitch with @Laura #greenscreen so who wants me fr🤨‼️ shoutout to nightsift and favor for also being on the playlist #phoebebridgers #boygenius #pharb ♬ Timefighter – Lucy Dacus
Another TikToker, Justin English, conducted a blow-by-blow commentary of the songs on their playlist.
@ana1bleachkimlipbiaswhor really feeling sultry with cinnamon girl playing in the background #fyp #greenscreenvideo #viral #comedy #spotify ♬ original sound – analbleachkimlipbiaswhor
One of the first songs on Justin’s list was “One Of Your Girls” by Troye Sivan. Ooft.
“Nothing screams ‘intimate’ much like a song about how you can’t be intimate with a man because he won’t admit that he’s gay,” said Justin, pointing out again the wild irony of this weird Spotify playlist.
“I definitely think listening to this playlist would get me in an intimate mood. Maybe not with a person, but rather a noose.”
For the sake of ethical journalism, I too had a look at my very own Intimate Mix, just to see what Spotify thought it would cook up for me.
Whilst I believe that “Work Song” by Hozier could be thematically accurate, I’m not impressed by the rest of the choices.
Notably, the presence of Phoebe Bridgers’ cover of Bo Burnham’s “That Funny Feeling” concerns me that if this mix was used in the bedroom, suddenly the funny feeling me and my partner had would stop being arousal, and change to existential depression.
So what’s the deal here? Did the Spotify gods suddenly lose their ability to curate perfect playlists for every mood?
Though it may seem that way, the explanation might be far more simple.
As pointed out by the TikTokers, these “intimate” playlists were not littered with hot and heavy erotic beats, but songs about yearning and love, and deeply vulnerable themes.
The misunderstanding here is that “intimate” songs are not for physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy.
So ya know, maybe don’t use this playlist for trying to get you or a partner in the mood for love-making — unless your preferred brand of lube is tears.
