Time to put on the comically large cowboy hat upon which you have written ‘election’ in permanent marker: Scott Morrison is heading to Canberra to call the election tomorrow.
As first reported by the Daily Telegraph and then confirmed by 9News, Morrison is tonight flying from Melbourne to Canberra to meet with Governor-General Peter Cosgrove, with the intention of calling a May 18 election. This, surprisingly enough, is the very date Pauline Hanson predicted the election would be called for. Go figure.
Morrison soft-launched his election campaign with a video that is, frankly, indistinguishable from any video made by any politician ever (except maybe the one where Jeremy Buckingham threw up): It’s a wealthy man pretending to be a regular guy by untucking his shirt and taking his tie off while using his family and random working people as props.
But, shock twist, would you believe it — the only way this country will be successful will be if you vote for him. What are the odds? Thank god he made this video to tell us:
I’m proud of how far our country has come over the past few years. And I know there is still more work for us to do to make life better for all Australians. My vision for Australia is about everyone having the chance to realise their full potential. pic.twitter.com/KJyRSj6zPz
— Scott Morrison (@ScottMorrisonMP) April 10, 2019
Shame they didn’t put the same amount of effort into the audio recording as they put into those badass slow-motion zooms.
Sharri Markson, who broke the story originally, told Sky News that Morrison had supposedly been intending to visit the Governor-General tonight “under cover of darkness” and to make the announcement in Tassie tomorrow, but that those oddly convoluted plans were nipped in the bud when the story came out.
The government is already reaching fever-pitch levels of madness over Labor’s push for increased production of electric vehicles, except things to get much, much worse as we lead up to the election.