There’s no doubt that our backyards here in Australia are filled with all manner of creatures great and small, sometimes they’re tiny little frogs that shack up in your loo, and other times they’re spiders the size of your hand who simply must not be inside. But may I present to you, this obscenely giant worm found in bushland in Queensland this week.

Shared on Reddit by dreadedbugqueen yesterday, the photo of the nature sausage found at Mount Nebo, northeast of Brisbane, is simply baffling. This worm is much bigger than any other legless longboi I’ve ever seen in my life. Look at it, LOOK.

giant worm queensland
That’s a good foot of worm. (Image: Reddit/dreadedbugqueen)

Imagine this guy in your back garden, just having a little nose around and turning over all your veggies cos he’s just so fuckin’ large. I don’t even think the chooks would dare have a go.

Apparently this guy isn’t even very big in comparison to other worms of his type. The giant worm is a digaster longmanii (I’m calling ’em Disaster Longman now, thank you) or the Giant Earthworm, and these wrigglers are known to grow up to two metres in length. TWO METRES. That is simply too big.

I thought this digman longboi was big, but apparently they get bigger.

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A post shared by Maddie S. (@shutyourfrogmouth) on

This huge binch is clearly King of the Worms, who I can only assume this statue in Melbourne is dedicated to.

giant worm statue
ALL HAIL KING WORM. (Image: Courtney Fry)

Whether you think the hulking earth tube is a solid length of nope rope or a gentle giant, there’s absolutely no disputing the absolute size of this lad. The sheer heft of this here unit. The optics on this giant worm and/or dirt noodle.

You could put a little hat on him and he’d be a perfect cast member for a live-action remake of Busy World Of Richard Scarry.

giant worm queensland
Now we just gotta find an apple big enough.

Anyway, put that god damn thing back where it came from or so help me.

Image: Reddit / dreadedbugqueen / Warner Bros.